Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

Now we play the waiting game..... Ahh, the waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos!

Homer

(singing) Call Mr. Plow. That's my name, that name again is Mr. Plow!

Homer

Homer: Well, I really should discuss this with my wife.
Salesman: Your wife? (cracks an imaginary whip)
Homer: What, you think I'm going to buy a $20,000 truck just because you
make that noise?
Salesman: (cracks his whip again)
Homer: Okay, I'll take it.

Homer's Brain: Don't tell him you were at a bar! (gasp) But what else is open at night?
Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

It may be on a lousy channel, but the Simpsons are on TV!

Homer

Kent: Hardest hit by the blizzard is Springfield's forbidding Widow's Peak. Our own Arnie Pie is on the scene.
(Arnie is doing a live remote by helicopter)
Arnie: Everything's snowed in! All I can see is white!
Kent: Arnie, please! The ski conditions.
Arnie: (Camera is upsidedown) Mayday! Mayday! I think I'm flying into a mountain! Tell my wife I lo- (Static)
Kent: That's great, Arnie!

Homer: My prices are so low, you'll think I've suffered brain damage.
Bart: You are fully bonded and licensed by the city, aren't you, Mr. Plow?
Homer: Shut up, boy.

Bart: Who's up at 3:17 AM watching TV?
Homer: Alcoholics, the unemployable, angry loners...

Homer: There's a $10,000 bill in it for you.
Barney: Oh yeah? Which president's on it?
Homer: Uh, all of them. They're having a party. Jimmy Carter's passed out on the couch.

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