TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
Try it Now for Free and Instantly Watch United States of Tara.

Oh honey, you're so pretty, but you've always made decisions like an ugly girl.

Tara and Charmaine's mom

We are like the dumbest nation on the whole planet. I think it has something to do with freedom. We're very free, so we're very free to be stupid.

Marshall

Kid in comic store: What are you?
Linda: She's Princess Valhalla Hawkwind.
Kid: What?
Kate: What to take a picture with me?
Kid: What are your super powers?
Kate: I don't have a vagina.
Kid: Come on let's go to Popeye's and get some chicken.

Got it, like Barbie - no holes.

Kate

Tommy Bahama is like Ed Hardy for sixty-five year old fat men.

Lionel

Kate: Why does Mrs. Butterworth need to be black? And Aunt Jemima too. That's some f***ed up racial pancake s**t.
Marshall: Mrs. Butterworth isn't black; she's just filled with syrup. She's clear.
Kate: Hmm...she's a clearcasian.

You're f***ing face is the f***ing gay size.

Marshall

Everyone's a taker - everything's a thing.

Kate

I'm like the cockroach, I persist.

Shoshanna

I want my wedding pictures with Nick, but I want my wedding night with Neal.

Charmaine

It's always the diseases fault, not just someone being an a**hole.

Pammy

Hey Charm - you're going to be a great mother.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 142 in total

United States of Tara Quotes

Katie: Nice whale-tale.
T: Quite hating. You wish you had all this.

Max: Is Mom here?
Marshall: Yeah. I mean Mom's here... but I'm not sure Mom's here.