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Tara: Sookie, let's go he is dead!

Sookie: No he's not. This (holds up goop) is what is left when a vampire dies.

Pam: You can dish it out, but you sure can't take it, can you Magister?

Eric: Let's see how this plays out Pam, you can always taunt later.

You're just a scared man in saggy underpants with no discernible life skills.


I really like you Hoyt and I really want you to taste my biscuits.


I didn't think I was smart enough to get depressed.


Summer: I'm just kidding; I'm not a vampire like your last girlfriend.
Hoyt: Girlfriend?

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