Alexis: I accidentally opened up a piece of Daniel's mail
Claire: Darling, given what we're dealing with I think Daniel is going to overlook that
Alexis: No he won't, it was a paternity test
Clarie: I don't understand
Alexis: Daniel isn't Daniel Jr's father... I am

Alexis: What do I do?
Betty: I haven't told Daniel because i know your a good person Alexis. Right now you're the only person that can prove that

Mandy: You killed Wilhelmina and you stuffed her! You put her in Tahari?
Betty: Amanda, it's a Wilhelmina doll.

You'd think someone with your skin tone would be a little more sensitive to prejudice.

Marc [to Betty]

Seriously, I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this... Raaahuuul. Is it a crime to purchase things you can't pay for? No!

Mandy [to her credit card company]

If I pay my bill then I can't pay my rent. And if I don't pay my rent, then where you will you send the bill? See, this is actually all for you.

Mandy [to her credit card company]

Look, don't judge me... not that you could in that


Betty [in Mandy's dream]: Amanda, have you seen the mustard? I need it for my big fat sandwich which I'm always eating around you and making a big mess of myself.
Mandy [in Mandy's dream]: I know! You always are, right?
Betty: I don't always eat sandwiches. And besides, I wasn't even there!
Mandy: I'm just saying it really does feel that way sometimes.

[after Ignacio awkwardly walks into Betty's to see a naked coach...]
Hilda: papi what are you doing here?
Dad: I came to protect Betty, install some locks
Coach: What'd you get, Sleigh locks?
Dad: No, Quickset
Coach: Oh those are good

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