Inside this gnarled Yoda body is a Peter Pan!

Chris

Our bodies can't do what they used to be able to do. Yours can't play hockey with twenty-two year olds, mine can't laugh really hard without peeing a little.

Reagan

You know you love them so much and then your love just turns to worry.

Ava

I am the mama bear. I am the Caroline Manzo of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Reagan

You're not exactly twenty five anymore...you pulled a muscle taking off your shirt last night.

Reagan

Of course, no one should have to fire a lover. I mean think how frought it was for Governor Schwarzenegger to fire that handsome maid.

Ava

Hi, I'm Ava I just had sex with a Leprechaun under my dress.

Chris

Mary Tyler Moore, she was foxy for a white woman.

Ava's Dad

If they could do the math, they wouldn't be watching TV in the middle of the day.

Ava

Your stories are so urban, I always thought you were black.

Missy [to Ava's dad]

Chris: You groped me.
Ava: Of course I did and it's totally legal now that I'm your boss.

Sharon for the last time, this is my parking spot you limey old rooster head.

Ava [to Sharon Osbourne]
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 140 in total

Up All Night Season 1 Quotes

Who knows, maybe I'll get the old Nordic Track out.

Chris

Reagan: Stop saying baby in there, like there's a baby hiding in the closet with a knife or something.
Chris: Why are we whispering?

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