Hi, I'm Ava I just had sex with a Leprechaun under my dress.


Mary Tyler Moore, she was foxy for a white woman.

Ava's Dad

If they could do the math, they wouldn't be watching TV in the middle of the day.


Your stories are so urban, I always thought you were black.

Missy [to Ava's dad]

Chris: You groped me.
Ava: Of course I did and it's totally legal now that I'm your boss.

Sharon for the last time, this is my parking spot you limey old rooster head.

Ava [to Sharon Osbourne]

You know what? The camera loves him and so will the rest of America.

Ava [about Chris]

Pill problem, pill problem, pill problem, mystery STD.


Let me guess, you're having a baby with Yvonne and you'll name it 'work.'

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