Veep
Sundays 10:30 PM on HBOVeep Quotes
Did you guys know I got married? Who wants to meet my brand new, smokin' hot wife?
Jonah
Goddammit! What is Mike doin' in here, and why does he have a good idea now that he doesn't work for us?
Selina
Selina: Fire 'im.
Ben: He's deader than democracy ma'm.
Why do I have to tell people why I want to be president? I mean, I don't wanna hear about their jobs.
Selina
But if you want to go dutch, or whatever, on the abortion, just hit me up on Venmo. Oh, you know what? Make it public, OK? It shows I'm a gentleman.
Dan
Selina: If I ever needed a miracle, it's right now!
Richard: Ma'm, there's been a mass shooting at a mall in Pheonix. Twenty-seven people have been killed.
[everyone groans and ahhhs]
Selina: Ohhh. [Selina shrugs] This can ... work for us?
Dan: Yes, because we couldn't possibly announce now out of respect for the victims.
Selina: Hallefuckinlugah.
Kent: Praise the rational equivalent of Jesus, what Bonhoeffer would call the spirit of beloved community.
Selina: We have to send that shooter a nice thank you card.
Richard: Actually, he shot himself before he could be apprehended. I'll send something to his wife. Oh, he shot her first.
Jonah: Whoa. What was that?
Sykes: I was just adjusting your mic. I was chemically castrated, remember? [winks]
I know there are people who think that thoughts and prayers are not enough, but prayer works. I mean, it worked for me today.
Selina
Selina: This entire country is getting more disgusting by the second!
Kent: That's a demo we're targeting, mostly on Facebook.
Ma'am, you need to kill the dog. Not literally, but if it comes to that, then yeah. You gotta kill that dog.
Jonah
You know, I can see right through your shirt. Is it designed that way?
Jonah
Senator Doyle just arrived and he has a face like he's been stabbed in the groin.
Sue
