Sundays 11:30 PM on Cartoon Network
Venture-brothers-poster

The Master: Did you know he's uncircumcised? Yeah, Mr. Baldie will forever wear his turtleneck.
Triana: That's so gross! Do I have to break his heart?
The Master: No, but you do have to clean his penis with a Q-Tip.

Why don't you leave me alone so I can jump rope naked in front a mirror in your ex-wife's body?

The Master

Dr. Orpheus: She must be in her fourties...
The Master: Really Orpheus? Tell it to the heiny, because she thinks it's still 1992.

Dean: Can I pet your pussy?
Triana: There's no irony in that, is there?

Hank: What's with the suit?
Dean: Is it illegal to look good?
Hank: In this house is kind of is.

Triana Orpheus, you should go live with your mother and begin your training as a sorceress. It's your destiny! And it's way cheaper than art school!

The Master

Billy Quizboy: It's out! I did it. So, am I part of the Triad.
The Alchemist: Triad implies three. So...
Billy Quizboy: All right. Then you guys have to pay my rather steep fee.
The Alchemist: Welcome to the Mystical Order of the Trilogy, Special Brother Billy!

The Alchemist: Maybe we should strip him down and rub him with magic unctions?
Jefferson Twilight: How will that help him?
The Alchemist: Him? I was thinking of me.

The Alchemist: Great, so we take credit for killing Torrid, you take credit for kicking the Outrider's ass. Then we make a secret pact to never speak of this again.
Dr. Orpheus: I've been wrong about the Outrider. He was noble and good. We can't leave him like this.
The Alchemist: Okay, we drop a rock on his head, then we make a secret pact to never speak of this again.

Displaying quotes 1 - 9 of 14 in total