Venture Brothers

Sundays 11:30 PM on Cartoon Network
Venture brothers poster

General Treister: I have the cancer of the pee-pee, nothing anyone on Earth can do about that.
Col. Hunter-Gathers: Sir, you can't kill yourself.
General Treister: I said nothing anyone *on Earth* can do about it.

Agent 21: Uh let me guess, Sphinx Headquarters?
Shoreleave: Was it the giant sphinx?
Agent 21: No it smells like out of work OSI D-bags.

Dean: What's our mission?
Dr. Venture: Your mission is to have the best damn home-school prom 500$ can buy!

If you simpletons are not embarrassed, I will be embarrassed for you. Now let's set sail.

Col. Hunter Gathers

Pirate Captain: We grow our own pot and legalize the gay marriage.
Shoreleave: I am going to retire here.

Monstroso: Let me tuck you in. Is that too tight?
Billy: There is no blood getting to my face.

Sgt. Hatred: You can't just hose him like a convict.
Brock: He's got ants on his ass. This is how you deal with the problem.

He get's that way around death, it's like he is in a Creed video.

Eros

Brock: Someone is in my car!
Hank: Now that's a super power. He can do that from 10 states away.

Professor Impossible: Ok Dean, who's first?
Mr. Polygamy: I am Mr. Polygamy and this is Mrs. Polygamy, Mrs. Polygamy, Mrs. Polygamy, and Mrs. Polygamy.

Phantom Limb: On the upside, Vernor did a great job as the cabby, until you gassed him.
Professor Impossible: Alright that's just passive aggressive friend.

Night, night Doctor Venture, pleasant screams.

Phantom Limb
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 278 in total

Venture Bros. Quotes

Hank: You are not the boss of me
Sgt Hatred: Au contraire, I am tony danza to your spunky Alyssa Milano. I am full on Charles In Charge of you

Hank: Is it just me or does every Nazi want to clone Hitler? It's like the only they think about
Srgt. Hatred: It seems that way, right. I guess when everyone hates you, you just fixate on making rotten Hitlers

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