Venture Brothers
Sundays 11:30 PM on Cartoon NetworkVenture Brothers Season 1 Episode 12: "The Trial of the Monarch" Quotes
Dr. Girlfriend: You should have replaced his blood with acid after this part. The sharks won't touch him.
Monarch: Thanks, Dr. Girlfriend, now you tell me. Lower the giant hairdryer!
Monarch: Well, Hank...what's it like to be a... liar?!? Huh? You like being a liar, with pants constantly on fire?!
Tiny Attorney: Objection, your Honor! Leadin'.
Monarch: I'll rephrase that. Hank, are you a liar?
Hank: No sir, I don't think so.
Monarch: Yes you are!
Dean: You're the liar!
Monarch: And may I remind you that I am rubber and you are glue and whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!
If I knew you could just call the cops on him, I would've done it years ago! Because I'm no sissy, no sir, I would just pick up that phone and, "Officer? There's a man in a butterfly suit shooting my robot with a laser beam."
Dr. Venture
Brock: Who do you think supplied the department with new cruisers last year?
Dr. Venture: My tax dollars, for one.
Hank: Santa Claus, for two!
Dean: Saliva is nature's glue.
Hank: And raisins are nature's candy!
Do not be too hasty entering [the bathroom]! I had Taco Bell for lunch!
Dr. Orpheus
Brock: The Guild works clean, professional. It's surgical with them. In a way, they're the only organization I still respect.
Hank: And they kill clean. Don't let dames get in the way.
Brock: Honestly, Hank, where do you pick that stuff up? I never see you read.
Dean: It's weird, right?
Brock: It's like he channels dead crazy people!
Hank: You... think it's a cry for help?
Dr. Orpheus: Hug me!
Monarch: Fine. Whatever gets you off, man. Just don't go for the reach-around, because the Monarch doesn't swing that way.
Dr. Orpheus: Sleep!!
Tiny Attorney: Dr. Orpheus, could you tell the court what you... do? You're a type of... magician?
Dr. Venture: Oh, they have no idea what they're in for...
Dr. Orpheus: If I reach behind your ear, it will not be a nickel I pull out, but your very soul!
Dr. Venture: Goodnight, ladies and gentlemen, you've been a great crowd...
Henchman: What about the necromancer? Memory wipes don't work on his kind.
Phantom Limb: True. But they take to hypnotic suggestion like cancer to a prostate
Brock: The Freeze Team! Down on the floor and hold your breath!
Dean: There's pee-pee on the floor!
Brock: I told you to hold your breath!