Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FX
Wilfred

I've got some great new ideas. The muses have basically been taking turns sitting on my face for the last two hours.

Wilfred

You can't put genius on hold. Dude! The muses are basically all up on my nuts right now.

Wilfred

Ryan: Something like the Berenstain Bears Visit the Dentist?
Wilfred: Visit the Dentist is beach reading. Sure I'm along for the ride, but is it transcendent in any way? Besides, it's totally derivative of Aardvark.

Wilfred: My biography's gotta be honest, it's gotta be gritty, but it also has to sing off the page. I'm talking Riki Tiki Tavi, or early George.
Ryan: George?
Wilfred: Curious. Later George just wallows in its own density.

Either roll the dice and go for it, knowing that I will bite off and eat your dick, or, stop hanging around with her.

Wilfred

I looked in the mirror again this morning. Guess what I found? 8,867,322 grey hairs.

Wilfred

Kristen: Why weren't you waiting for me in the driveway to help me?
Ryan: You're an hour early.
Kristen: So?

I've never really been a taco guy. I don't speak Spanish so...

Drew

Ryan: I'll tell my kids about you.
Wilfred: I appreciate that Ryan, but to have kids you need to have sex.

Then I guess it's up to Drew to make up for his shitty party by hitting it later that night from the front...human style.

Wilfred

Ryan, if you don't take this thing off of me right now, I'm going to give myself dead possum breath and breathe in your face.

Wilfred
Displaying all 11 quotes

Wilfred Season 3 Episode 6 Quotes

Then I guess it's up to Drew to make up for his shitty party by hitting it later that night from the front...human style.

Wilfred

Ryan, if you don't take this thing off of me right now, I'm going to give myself dead possum breath and breathe in your face.

Wilfred
×