Wilfred

Wilfred Quotes

Season 2 Episode 13: "Secrets"

Wilfred: You're not crazier than anybody else.
Ryan: Said the dog to the man.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Amanda: Innocent? He stole the jalapenos off my bagel...five times.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: Without you I have no purpose. I'm nothing. It's like I don't even exist.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: You think I don't have a pair of d**k shears? I do.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: Battlestar Galactica!
Ryan: What did you think of the ending?
Wilfred: Frak you Ryan!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ryan: You're not the first Wilfred, Wilfred.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: This isn't a game. I need answers. Who am I? What am I?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 12: "Resentment"

Jenna: That's just the pain killers talking.
Drew: No it's not, Jenna-ration X.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: Yeah she pet you once. Who sleeps on the bed every night?
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: I just watched Jenna take it in the hands from every guy in the neighborhood.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: How can I compete with a purebred?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ryan: Are you telling me you've never smelled another dog on Jenna's hands?
Wilfred: Well yeah but that's just from her pushing other dogs away.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ryan: I don't even wanna go to this wedding. Now I'm the co-ring bearer?
Wilfred: Yeahhhh, we need to talk about your title.
 • Rating: Unrated

Drew: Do you ever wonder what it would be like if Wilfred could talk?
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: Being happy is just like being gay. It's a choice, that's why they mean the same thing.
 • Rating: 4.1 / 5.0

Drew: Hey, Ryyyyy - cironi, the San Francisco treat. Now in the new chicken.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 11: "Questions"

Red Wolf: All that you see here are creations of your own mind. Perhaps that is why I am such a stereotype.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ryan: We need to get to a hospital.
Wilfred: Come on Ryan, Bear doesn't have insurance.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: What about your boss's suicide? I mean someone ate his brains. That's twisted. Did they find who did that, by the way?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 10: "Honesty"

Jenna: Could you ever forgive me?
Ryan: I do everything else for ya.
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite "Wilfred" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!