Wilfred

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FX
Wilfred
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Without Wilfred I have no purpose!

Bruce

What is this a dick punch fight?

Wilfred

Ryan: I didn't really have you neutered! Everything you're feeling is only psychosomatic.
Wilfred: But you did have my ears cleaned, which is bad enough.

Everyone knows store lighting can't be trusted, especially when you have a non-traditional figure.

Wilfred

This bag is majorly cute Ryan. I can totally see you carrying that with my head sticking out the top of it.

Wilfred

I've done some awful, awful things to you...registering you as a sex offender in the state of Oregon, putting fake blood stains on the ass of your shorts just before you go bike riding...

Wilfred

Let me guess. He had you kick your cousin's kid in the face with a running start, didn't he?

Bruce

Ryan: He kinda reminds me of Wilfred.
Kristen: You know, you talk about Wilfred more than most people talk about their neighbors' dogs.

I'm gonna get a bikini wax and I want to still be a little buzzed when the lady rips it.

Kristen
Displaying all 9 quotes

Wilfred Season 3 Episode 10 Quotes

Ryan: He kinda reminds me of Wilfred.
Kristen: You know, you talk about Wilfred more than most people talk about their neighbors' dogs.

I'm gonna get a bikini wax and I want to still be a little buzzed when the lady rips it.

Kristen