Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FX
Wilfred

Oh Phyllis, your kisses taste so sweet, and your paws smell like corn chips.

Wilfred

Ryan, no door can stay in the way of love. Unless it's like, a door door. Does it have a door knob?

Wilfred

Sorry, the music just sorta flowed out of me. I guess that's what happens when, love slaps you around like a little ho.

Wilfred

Wilfred: Fine, then I suppose I'll have to resort to more drastic measures.
Ryan: Wait, What're you gonna do?
Wilfred: I'm gonna get my squeaky ball and leave it on the living room floor, where Phil can see it. Then when our little friend goes to play with it I'll simply snatch.....it....back.

So, just when I finally neutralize the Jellybeans threat, you invite this bulldog to come and live with us? There's only so much dog poon to go around. And you know this Phil guy's gonna be creeping up on the neighborhood glory hole. That shit is locals only! It's like, Go back to the Val, kook!

Wilfred
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