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My uncle put his finger in my no-no!

Troy

Troy: According to our polls, the campus is almost evenly divided. Now keep in mind, the margin of error on this thing is about 98%.
Abed: Could be higher. We don't even know how to do margins of error. We talked to two people at a vending machine.

I live with that dude. He's got night terrors and a rotary phone.

Troy

Abed: For Greendale College Television, I'm Abed Nadir.
Troy: And I'm Troy "Butt Soup" Barnes. What? That's my name.

Evil Troy: I've been counting our bullets. One of us it out.
Troy: Is it you?
Evil Troy: Yes.
Troy: Why would you tell me that?

I wanna go to rehab and compare penises with famous people.

Troy

Annie: I lost Abed!
Troy: I told you to never let him out of your sight! That goes double for holidays and wax museums!

I'm auditioning for Professor Garrity's all-black production of "Fiddler on the Roof." It's called "Fiddlah, Please!"

Troy

My uncle never put his finger in my plop-plop. I know, I'm bummed about it too.

Troy

I wish I was a book. She could pick me up, flip through my pages. Make sure nobody drew wieners in me.

Troy

So was that girl an alien, or a toddler with a growing disease?

Troy

Annie: Shirley! We were just-
Abed:-about to-
Troy:-eat garbage dip! Why did I have to go third??

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 17 in total

Community Quotes

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]

Annie: The midterm dance will need a visual theme. Like, 'Let's blow off steam,' and it's trains!
Chang: I have an idea!
Annie: Chang, your last idea was to murder.