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My uncle put his finger in my no-no!

Troy

Troy: According to our polls, the campus is almost evenly divided. Now keep in mind, the margin of error on this thing is about 98%.
Abed: Could be higher. We don't even know how to do margins of error. We talked to two people at a vending machine.

I live with that dude. He's got night terrors and a rotary phone.

Troy

Abed: For Greendale College Television, I'm Abed Nadir.
Troy: And I'm Troy "Butt Soup" Barnes. What? That's my name.

Evil Troy: I've been counting our bullets. One of us it out.
Troy: Is it you?
Evil Troy: Yes.
Troy: Why would you tell me that?

I wanna go to rehab and compare penises with famous people.

Troy

Annie: I lost Abed!
Troy: I told you to never let him out of your sight! That goes double for holidays and wax museums!

I'm auditioning for Professor Garrity's all-black production of "Fiddler on the Roof." It's called "Fiddlah, Please!"

Troy

My uncle never put his finger in my plop-plop. I know, I'm bummed about it too.

Troy
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