Troy: According to our polls, the campus is almost evenly divided. Now keep in mind, the margin of error on this thing is about 98%.
Abed: Could be higher. We don't even know how to do margins of error. We talked to two people at a vending machine.

Abed: For Greendale College Television, I'm Abed Nadir.
Troy: And I'm Troy "Butt Soup" Barnes. What? That's my name.

I live with that dude. He's got night terrors and a rotary phone.

Troy

I wanna go to rehab and compare penises with famous people.

Troy

I wish I was a book. She could pick me up, flip through my pages. Make sure nobody drew wieners in me.

Troy

Community Quotes

Abed: Sometimes I like to pour hot chocolate mix into cold milk and drink it with hot cocoa, I call it special drink
Jeff: And some day you will know it by its true name, diabetes

I'm sorry Annie. I'm not the worker-bee type. I'm more of a silver back gorilla with the claws of a lion, the teeth of a shark and the quiet dignity of a tortoise.

Jeff