I was wrong to chose sexiness over my wife.

Peter

Mr. Giraffe who lets little boys grind on his rump. Or Mr. Octopus who, who let's little boys grind on his rump.

Peter

Lois: I don't even know what this is anymore!
Peter: It's a strip club that gives away free cookies.

She just wrote "vagina" on her boobs! That doesn't even make any sense!

Peter

Brian: Stewie what are you doing?
Stewie: Being awesome.

That was the right thing to do Peter.

Lois

Like Moses and his buddy who liked to collect seashells.

Peter

Peter's Wife's Cookies.

Peter

If you say it like that one more time, I'm going to drown you.

Brian

Could you get me some yaww-gurt?

Stewie

Vegetable, meat, meat, vegetable, meat.

Stewie

How far away are the stars?

Peter
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 1270 in total

TV Quotes Quotes

Bill: Make sure he knows this evening's area of focus please. We'll be looking at men with enlarged prostates, primarily elderly men. Engaged in auto-manipulation.
Barbara: Auto, I'm sorry?
Bill: Old men masturbating!

I wanna say thank you for giving me everything I always wanted. A love to consume me, and passion, and adventure. There's nothing more I could ever want than for it to last forever, but it can't. This is the last time I'm gonna see you. This is goodbye, Damon.

Elena [to Damon]
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