TV Quotes Quotes
RuPaul: [About Jaida] Oooh, she is giving me Bee-yonce.
[Scene switches to Aidan Zhane dancing]
RuPaul: And she is giving me Bea Arthur!
Brita: I had an amazing dream last night.
Heidi N Closet: What was it?
Brita: I won RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 12.
Aiden Zhane: And then you woke up.
[All the girls laughing, Brita shocked]
Olivia Munn: Until one day I realized, “What is the one thing I have that no one else has? And that’s me.” And you really have such a fun energy that no one else has. That will make the difference for you, not the amount of makeup you put on.
RuPaul: Amen!
Crystal Methyd: Thank you.
RuPaul: Have any of you done improv before?
Heidi N Closer: [Speaking of herself] She has done improv in the bedroom.
RuPaul: Oh my god, you are a character. You are a char-ac-ter!
[They all laugh]
RuPaul: Now ladies, for today’s Mini Challenge, it’s time for a queer peer assessment. Widow Von’Du and Jaida Essence Hall, please step forward. You each won your premiere episodes; now based on your first impressions, I want you to line up the queens you just met from top to bottom. From who you think is your strongest competitor to who you think is your weakest competitor.
Jaida Essence Hall: [Confessional] Shaaaddy boots. Shady boots!
RuPaul: Ladies, it’s not personal. It’s just drag.
Brita: What do you think of those girls? Do you know any of those girls?
Heidi N Closet: No, I don’t know anybody. We’re sending them home, though. “Team Talent,” my a**.
Cheryl: What about you and Archie canoodling?
Betty: That was just pretend.
Cheryl: I don’t know, cousin, that looked pretty real to me.
Betty: Well, yeah, that was the point.
Cheryl: Right. All I’m saying is your secret is safe with me.
Betty: The sequence holds true for every ghostwriter who proceeded them. It’s actually incredibly simple.
Jughead: Which brings us to a couple of months ago when I was awarded the contract. Why? To put a target on my back. Probably because I was already circling the truth, so he gave you guys a new challenge: to commit the perfect murder against me and be awarded the contract.
Betty: So, the million-dollar question is, “Who was going to kill Jughead and how?”
Mr. DuPont: Well, Mr. Jones…
Jughead: Shut up!
[The room silences]
Jughead: Mr. DuPont, as they say in Lord of the Flies, “I have the conch.”
Jughead: What, did you miss me?
Bret: You’ve got to be kidding me?!
Mr. DuPont: Mr. Jones, we all thought you were…
Jughead: That I was dead?! Yeah, for a minute there I thought I was too.
Betty: Yeah.
Jughead: Hey, what’s that often-used Mark Twain quote? “Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”
Joan: What is happening right now?
Betty: It is called getting your comeuppance, Joan.
Gravedigger: I can’t believe you got up! But you can’t do it, can you? You can’t kill for blood, right?
Black Lightning: You and I are blood.
Gravedigger: That’s funny.
Agent Odell: [Sighs.]
Khalil: Now, you didn’t really think I would let you get away after making me kill my mom, did you?
[Agent Odell utters trigger phrase]
Khalil: That shutdown only works for Painkiller. I’m Khalil.
[Reloads gun]
Khalil: We haven’t officially met.
