Claire and Phil find themselves called into school when Luke beats up a kid and are shocked to find Gloria and Jay already sitting in the principal's office. Apparently Luke beat up Manny for calling him his nephew. Comments made by both Gloria and Claire confirm what Gloria's always been thinking... that Claire doesn't like her.
With tensions high, certain members of the family are upset everyone's going over to Jay's to watch the Ohio State - Illinois game, particularly Jay who hates watching football with people who don't care about the game... they talk. It turns out Cameron was actually a starting offensive lineman at Illinois and is really looking forward to the game and Mitchell decides to do a little research on this sport known as football and pretend to care to impress his boyfriend.
At the house, Phil attempts to get Gloria and Claire to make up, but when Luke let's it slip that Claire calls Gloria a "coal digger" (obviously a gold digger) behind her back, the shit hits the fan. Gloria runs off and Phil chases after her to her bedroom where he ends up covered in her underwear. When Jay gets word that everyone thinks Gloria is just after his money and is too attractive for her, he gets insecure. He asks Mitchell and Cameron, since they look at guys, if they would check him out at a gay bar. Cameron makes him feel better by saying he totally would pick him up, while Mitchell contemplates giving up homosexuality after hearing this.
Back in the bedroom, Claire enters, upset to see her husband covered in her underwear, but ready to do whatever it takes to get Gloria to forgive her. The deal? Jump in the pool in her clothes. The episode ends with the whole family jumping in the pool.
Jay: No, see this is exactly why we sweep things under the rug. So, people don't get hurt.
Phil: Well, yeah, until you sweep too much under the rug. Then you have a lumpy rug... creates a tripping hazard...and open yourself up to lawsuits. Boy, you can go a really long time without blinking
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Claire likes to say "You can be part of the problem, or part of the solution." But I happen to believe you can be bothPhil
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