A Very Merry, Crazy Gossip Girl Christmas

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It was, indeed, a very Gossip Girl Christmas, and despite Rufus' waffling, a weird availability of an empty loft space for Serena to build a sexy nest for Dan, the episode balanced out by the ever-present and all-too realistic holiday staples: dysfunction and assholic, selfish behavior.

For that, New York Magazine gives last night's episode, "Roman Holiday" a Plus 28 on its weekly realism scale. Some high- and low-lights:

Blair and Eleanor Waldorf
  • No way is Blair Waldorf spending her last high-school summer in France. She wants to go to Yale. Bitch needs an internship. Minus 1.
  • Since he got his dream girl and got a story in The New Yorker, Dan observes, "I may have peaked." OH, GOD, WE ALL PEAKED JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL. Plus 10.
  • Chuck's text to Blair: "Just one question: How did you fake your virginity for N?" That is so the kind of message that an a$$hole teenage boy would send. Plus 3.
  • What the hell are Blair and Serena wearing on Christmas? Not even rich people like prostitution on a high holy day. Minus 2.
  • When Chuck photo-texts Blair a pic of him and Nate in Monaco, Nate is shirtless and Chuck is wearing a hat, polo shirt, and sweater. Plus 3.
  • Holy hell. Adults are as awkward as kids? "If there's something you want to say, you should go ahead and say it," Lily says. "Is there something you want me to say?" Rufus replies. Brody and LC had this exact conversation on The Hills. Plus 3.
  • OMG! Dan and Serena are both so surprised that they end up having sex! BUT: WHERE ARE THE CONDOMS? Plus 5.
  • Dan gets published in The New Yorker. Minus 4, because we become incensed when someone we know writes a "Talk of the Town."

Follow the link to read New York Magazine's full rundown ...

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


Gossip Girl Quotes

And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell ... You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl

[to Jenny] That's the thing. You need to be cool to be queen. Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart and she got her head chopped off. So her daughter Elizabeth made a vow never to marry a man. She married a country. Forget boys. Keep your eye on the prize, Jenny Humphrey. You can't make people love you, but you can make them fear you. For what it's worth, you're my Queen. I choose you.