Gossip Girl: On the Verge of Surreal

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Just how realistic is Gossip Girl? Despite its awesomeness, not so much this week, says New York Magazine in its patented (nonsensical) rating system, which takes into account real and surreal moments from each episode.

According to the show's unofficial publication, this week's episode, "Woman On the Verge," rated -3 overall on the realism scale. Below are excerpts from this New York Magazine feature.

  • The entire scene where Chuck, Nate, and Blair comfort Serena is realistic. They totally would have let the drama bring them all back together (which is what they secretly want anyway), and they would have definitely admitted all of their own foibles to try to make Serena feel better. Plus 5.
  • Lily left her own rehearsal dinner - it couldn't have waited one day? And where was Eric? And why didn't Lily melt down like most normal adults who find out their daughter accidentally aided in a lethal overdose while in a drunken three-way sex situation? Minus 10.
  • Chuck lost his virginity to Georgina in 6th grade? Awesome! Plus 4.
The Evil G
  • Why is Dan Humphrey so gullible? He'll believe anything a pretty girl tells him! Her mom told her to change her name and get out of town? WHAT? A parakeet wouldn't believe that story! Minus 5.
  • Georgina can cry on cue? A SUPER-psycho. Yes! Plus 4. They either end up in drama club or in rehab, people.
  • Um, you can't just take a train to boarding school in the middle of the night and decide to enroll. You have to at least be wearing pants. Minus 4.
  • Nate tells Blair, "I'm on my way to Queens." She quickly replies, "Ew, why?" Gets us every time! Plus 1.
  • Just a side note, but nobody smokes cigarettes on this show. Isn't that weird? Vanessa for sure would be a Camel chick. Minus 4.
  • Bagels are the perfect hangover food. Plus 2. Of course Chuck still checks out the stumbling, drunk Serena as she takes her top off. Plus 2 more.
  • Minus 2 for Rolling Stone being involved in the whole "Forgotten Bands of the 90s" thing to begin with. This is a magazine that just put The Hills on the cover. The 90s (and, let's face it, music) are ancient history for them.

  • Look at that grin Vanessa has when she catches Georgina in a lie! She's totally secretly a bitch too — and loves it! We finally like her. Revenge brings everybody together. Plus 3.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Gossip Girl Quotes

Even Blair Waldorf can not bend DNA to her will.

Dan

Hazel: Do you know what you're doing, Little J?
Jenny: I'm not Little J anymore.