Gossip Girl Round Table: "Never Been Marcused"

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As fans gather in our


1. What was your favorite Blair Waldorf quote?

DANdy: The Queen B's putdown of Catherine was classic Blair: she thought Catherine was "just a callow social-climbing former swimsuit model who married above her station and was enslaved by her own insecurities." Remind us never to get on Blair's bad side.

Mister Meester: Short and sweet: "Oh my effing God." You gotta love a fictional character paying tribute to her own show's OMFG ad campaign!

Gossip Guy: It was subtle and I'm sure went unnoticed by a lot of fans, but I have to give it to Blair for "Notice how my voice didn't go up at the end? Not a question." Best. Bitch. Ever.

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2. Harder to believe: That Vanessa has nothing better to do than turn Rufus' art gallery into a cafe, or that Dan is the slightest bit hesitant to get with Serena?

DANdy: D was a virgin when he bedded S. Serena, to put it mildly, was not. Therefore, it makes perfect sense that Dan may wanna perfect his love-making craft before committing fully to Serena again; otherwise, he may eventually lose her to a seasoned sex kitten, such as Russell Brand.

Mister Meester: Vanessa. We know the girl mysteriously appears whenever there's trouble to cause. That's one thing. But renovating Rufus' space? What's the point? How does she even know how to do it? I give up.

Gossip Guy: I'm sorry, am I supposed to believe Vanessa has a life? Vanessa serves one purpose the Gossip Girl world: pissing me off. I believe she'd definitely have nothing better to do than work for Rufus. Anything to get closer to Dan. Whore. Now Dan not getting back with Serena? What an idiot!

3. Continuing a theme from last week's Round Table - what was the more uncomfortable place a Gossip Girl character had sex this episode: in the bus bathroom, or on the floor of the Hudson Hotel library bar?

Mister Meester: Nate looked more or less comfortable before he was busted mid-coitus. The bathroom, though, in late summer? Had to smell straight up foul.

Gossip Guy: Call me old fashioned but I'd take a bus bathroom over the floor of an unlocked library any day. You gotta also consider security part of your personal comfort. You don't want any future daughter-in-laws walking in.

DANdy: The library. All those people telling me to "shush!" would totally throw my game off.

4. Nate's relationship with Catherine her name will end in: Marriage? Heartbreak? Years of wild cougar maulings?

Gossip Guy: Well since Nate has become a high-end prostitute, I think their relationship will end when Catherine's husband begins to notice hundreds of thousands of dollars disappearing. Oh Catherine, man bangs may be the prettiest prostitute you'll ever find, but I'm sure you can find someone cheaper and more discreet.

DANdy: Marriage.

Mister Meester: Nate is familiar enough with the role of man-whore, and Catherine's essentially blackmailing him at this point, so Option C is a safe bet. This cougar will continue ransacking young Archibald for some time.

Chuck and Catherine

Chuck Bass will do anything to win Blair back... even try to ruin her.

5. What will be Chuck's next scheme to recapture Blair's heart?

Gossip Guy: Oh this is far from over! Chuck's tried using his brains and manipulation. Next up? I think our man uses his signature Chuck Bass stare and seduces Blair. How can she not fall for that intense look? My legs are shaking just thinking about it.

DANdy: I can see a giant billboard in Times Square: Believe in Bass. He doesn't Chuck and cover.

Mister Meester: I'm not a ladies man here, but in my experience, the best way into a girl's heart, and/or pants, generally has not been to sabotage her reputation and humiliate her in public. Chuck needs to employ some wholesome, old fashioned romance to win Blair Waldorf! Failing that, bribes go a long way.


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Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Gossip Girl Season 2 Episode 2 Quotes

Serena: I'm just a little ...
Dan: Overwhelmed?
Serena: Confused.

Gossip Girl: As summer comes to an end, I'd like to share a few things I've learned about fun in the sun. Gossip Girl's guide to summer fun tip #1: Don't fall asleep on the job. The best hookups are free of morning breath and awkward conversation. The only thing better than making up ... is waking up.