Gossip Girl Rewatch: Never Been Marcused

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Everyone knows that Queen B has always been desperate to be real royalty. When she found out her new boyfriend was a British Lord, it was on.

Blair went full throttle scheming in Gossip Girl Season 2 Episode 2 to woo Lord Marcus.

Blair went from being completely bored by the guy to completely infatuated. It happened so fast even Serena couldn't keep up. Then again Serena was busy rolling in the sand with a certain not-so Lonely Boy. How does Serena manage with all of that hair anyway? Her extensions were out of control in this episode.

Thanks to Chuck's P.I. he found out Marcus's identity around the same time Blair did. Realizing he couldn't stop Blair because he was rendered incapable of saying those "3 words, 8 letters" Chuck decided to befriend the enemy. Then he went a step higher and befriended the enemy's stepmother: Duchess Catherine.

It turns out that Nate was sleeping with a royal cougar all summer and never knew it! But before Chuck got make a proper introduction at Blair's dulls-ville party, Blair's claws were out and scratching.


Chuck: I thought you might like to meet my friend.
Blair: Why, so she can warn me bout the effects of too much botox?
Catherine: Blair, is it? I'm Duchess Beaton.
Blair: [flabbergasted] Duchess? Nice to meet you.

I love Serena's complete faith in Blair to be the "Real B" and win over Duchess Beaton with her sweet self. Uh, the real B is an evil, scheming, awesome bitch not a sweetheart. Oh Serena.

If we thought that whole introduction was awkward, enter Nate into the picture and it all got really, really complicated. Poor Nate had a lot to worry about this episode when his mother's informed him of their financial problems. He tried to act all tough guy to the investigators at his house, but it just came off as kind of sad. 

It's interesting that Nate could be so pissed about his best friend lending his mom money, but then he was all devil may care about leading on Vanessa and banging a married woman in a public place. Choose your battles Archibald.

Then after all that, he thought it was okay to take Catherine's money but not Chuck's? Bad choice. But we'll get to that one in the next episode's rewatch!


  • Remember when everyone started to notice that weird sexual tension between Rufus and Vanessa? Ick.
  • Serena and Dan's hook up on the Jitney would never happen. Those bathrooms are gross and cramped.
  • Blair vs. Duchess Beaton in the library = awesome.
  • What the hell kind of dogs does Ann Archibald have? Dog/Wolf hybrids?
  • Blair's nightgown at the end is actually an Elizabeth and James dress and I love it.

Until next time!

For now, vote on who you think is more devious: Blair or Duchess Beaton. If you missed this gem of an episode, don't forget you can always watch Gossip Girl online at anytime.

Never Been Marcused Review

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Gossip Girl Season 2 Episode 2 Quotes

Serena: I'm just a little ...
Dan: Overwhelmed?
Serena: Confused.

Gossip Girl: As summer comes to an end, I'd like to share a few things I've learned about fun in the sun. Gossip Girl's guide to summer fun tip #1: Don't fall asleep on the job. The best hookups are free of morning breath and awkward conversation. The only thing better than making up ... is waking up.