Best of Chuck Season Two Quotes

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As much fun as the Winter Olympics have been, NBC has been killing us with our wait until Chuck returns March 1st with "Chuck Versus the Fake Name."  So call us fanatics, but we've been spending the time re-watching previous seasons.

We noticed our Chuck season two quotes were lacking, and in our effort to become the ultimate resource for all things Chuck, we knew we had to step up our game.  Now with over 260 quotes from the sophomore season, we're ready to do our "best of" post.

Chuck, Steve and the Intersect

Below are our personal favorite Chuck quotes from Bartowski, Casey, Sarah and the Buy More crew.  Go ahead and vote for your favorites:

Chuck: I don't think I'm really cut out for a job where you disarm a bomb, steal a diamond and then jump off a building.
Sarah: Well, you could have fooled me.
Chuck: That's very kind of you to say, but I'm pretty sure my girlish screams in the face of danger give me away. | permalink
(Roan tells Chuck to kiss Sarah)
Chuck: Of course I find her attractive! It's just that I had a burrito earlier and I'm trying to be respectful. | permalink
Anna: Morgan, you can't let a bully like Mitt push you around, this isn't high school.
Morgan: No, it's worse. This is Buy More. | permalink
Chuck: (to Sarah) Remember, the only difference between high school and high school reunion is that you don't get suspended for being drunk. | permalink
(After Chuck realized how to beat Missile Command)
Chuck: (to Morgan) Morgan... hey ah, buddy do we carry any Rush CDs in the store?
Morgan: No need. I got them all on my Zune!
Chuck: You have a Zune?
Morgan: You kidding me? No... no, I'll grab my iPod. | permalink
Chuck: You see, she broke my heart. She destroyed me. She took all of my confidence, my mojo.
Casey: You had mojo?
Chuck: I was on my way. | permalink
Chuck: Wait. So not only did we not get the Fulcrum list, but Jill's never gonna speak to me again, because she caught me naked, rinsing off fruit punch with another woman?
Casey: Common spy problem.
Chuck: Really? | permalink
Big Mike: Did I just hear you don't have Thanksgiving plans? That's terrible, damn terrible. I'm amazed to find so many staff members without proper plans for Thanksgiving. Like those two poor creatures. (Points to Jeff and Lester)
Morgan: Sir, are you inviting us to dinner?
Big Mike: No...God, no. | permalink
Casey: You need a little break, Bartowski?
Chuck: Yeah, that'd be nice. I mean finding out Jill was Fulcrum was a bit of a shock to the system, you know. I guess I wouldn't mind some time to sort out my feelings.
Casey: Sure thing, Chuck. I just call all the criminals, rogues, spies, and let them know to hold on a sec 'cause Chuck Bartowski needs some time to sort out his lady feelings. | permalink
Awesome: Permission to speak freely?
Morgan: There are no secrets between us.
Awesome: Would you agree that you have no credit, no life plan, no apartment, no car, no adult responsibilities at all?
Morgan: On rare occasions I do my own laundry. | permalink
Casey: You know, I survived three wars without so much as losing a fingernail before I met you, Bartowski. | permalink
Chuck: Would it be so crazy if I did have plans? Plans that involve something other than fixing a computer or playing hot potato with a thermite grenade?
Casey: Yes. | permalink
Chuck: Casey, I'm handcuffed.
Casey: Relax. Handcuffs are a cinch.
Chuck: Really?
Casey: Yeah. There's a bone in your thumb. Tiny bone. Really easy to break. What you're gonna want to do is you're gonna want to apply torsional pressure to it until it snaps.
Chuck: I'm not gonna break my bone!
Casey: Well, in that case, you are screwed. | permalink
Beckman: Now, if you excuse me, I am late for my evening plans.
Chuck: Uh, you don't mind me asking, what is...what is exactly your version of evening plans?
Casey: Bartowski!
Beckman: It's not top secret, Major, I'm meeting Condoleeza for Cosmos...even I have friends. | permalink
Chuck: Something wrong with you and Anna?
Morgan: She's out of town, we're actually really good. No, it's my mom and Big Mike, they're like teenagers. They just keep going at it and keep going at it. The man moans like a wounded sea lion. | permalink
Lester: Morgan. All you have to do is convince Anna that moving in with you is a bad idea.
Morgan: Okay, but how am I gonna...
Lester: Shhh, bubeleh, you've come to the right place. Repulsion is our business.
Jeff: And business is good. | permalink
Morgan: Sir, what exactly are we doing here?
Big Mike: Payback.
Morgan: I see. Does payback involve illegal activities?
Big Mike: Damn well better. | permalink
Casey: Hey, the security system's has been updated. I'll either need 40 minutes to decrypt the code or four ounces of C4.
Alex: No, we should just take out some doctor and steal his card key.
Casey: I like the cut of your jib.
Chuck: Wow! You two are a match made in a very frightening part of heaven. | permalink
Roark: Oh, great, gang's all here. Only fair that a son should see the results of his father's labor. Of course, if this doesn't work, I'm afraid I have to go back to that bit where I kill everybody.
Chuck: What if it does work?
Roark: If it does work? Same result, but, you know, you should root for it, I mean, nobody likes a cynic. | permalink
Chuck: Oh God, someone shoot me now
Roark: I can help you with that Chuck. Oh, a little shotgun wedding. Just think, that terrible pun is the last thing you'll hear | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


Chuck Quotes

You're acting awful bitchie Burton, or whatever it is you go by.


Sarah: You are not concerned to involve a civilian in a covert government investigation?
Casey: No, girl's pushing Guy Lafleur's view is of use to us. You sure you're not just jealous because Bartowski's found himself a new piece of asset?

Chuck Music

  Song Artist
Wait it out Wait It Out Imogen Heap iTunes
Black and gold Black and Gold Sam Sparro iTunes
Just dropped in to see what condition my condition is in Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Is In) Kenny Rogers iTunes