Welcome to TV Fanatic! Our staff has diligently compiled dozens of Gossip Girl quotes from Monday night's all-new episode, the show's first in three months, "The Hurt Locket."

Some of our personal favorites appear below.

Scroll down and leave a comment with your favorites or any we left off, and be sure to follow this link for our full library of Gossip Girl quotes (over 1,300) from every episode!

Chuck: I don't have a real mother. I never will.
Blair: But that doesn't mean you've alone. I love you, Chuck, and I'll always be your family. | permalink

Lily: I did kiss him.
Rufus: It must have been one Hell of a kiss for you to build all these lies around it. | permalink

Blair: I originated that innocent, doe-eyed stare. I usually employ it when I know more than I'm willing to let on. | permalink

Jenny: Okay, I don't know what Dan said, but why would you take romantic advice from a guy who has a Cabbage Patch doll? | permalink

Blair: What happened? Don't tell me that awful whore did something to you.
Chuck: I think that whore might be my mother. | permalink

Serena: You don't need Chuck. Anyone that meets you can see you're an elitist snob that belongs in a secret society. Bon chance!
Blair: Merci! | permalink

Blair: Well, I can see my advice went the way of the clog!
Serena: What are you talking about?
Blair: An ugly wooden shoe that tried to make a statement and then disappeared. | permalink

Chuck: You may find this hard to comprehend, but some things are more important than your social climbing agenda. | permalink

Blair: Are you in the hospital? Since I know you're alive, there can be no other possible reason why you'd sacrifice my entire future. | permalink

Dan: I read like five self-help blogs on how to turns friends into lovers. Yes, they used that word. | permalink

Gossip Girl: With enough time, we all find what we're looking for. Even if it was there all along. | permalink

Blair: Chastity belts go very well with formal wear. | permalink

Chuck: One of his concubines had his name tattooed on her ass. I have more important things to do than search for another female member of the Bart Bass fan club. | permalink

Gossip Girl: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Seems Dickens knew something about life on the Upper East Side. | permalink

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