Classic TV Quotes: Futurama Season One

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It's hard to believe after being off the air since 2003, Futurama would be returning with new episodes in just two short days.  Technically, the show had some made-for-DVD releases that eventually aired as the supposed sixth season on Comedy Central.

However, season seven will be a genuine 13 episode order.  We can't wait and to celebrate we've put together our favorite Futurama quotes from season one.

Fear of a Bot Planet Pic

So be sure to check back Friday morning for our complete Futurama cover of the one-hour season seven premiere and for now, enjoy some classic quotes:

Bender: You really want a robot for a friend?
Fry: Yeah, ever since I was six.
Bender: Well, okay. But I don't want people thinking we're robo-sexuals, so if anyone asks, you're my debugger. | permalink
Suicide Booth: Please select mode of death: "Quick And Painless" or "Slow And Horrible".
Fry: Yeah, I'd like to place a collect call.
Suicide Booth: You have selected: "Slow And Horrible".
Bender: Great choice! | permalink
Fry: That's not an astronaut, that's a TV comedian. And he just used space travel as a metaphor for beating his wife. | permalink
Leela: Wait. I want you to look me in the eye and promise you won't get behind the wheel without some kind of alcoholic beverage in your hand.
Bender: I promise nothing. | permalink
Zapp Brannigan: I don't pretend to understand Brannigan's law; I merely enforce it. | permalink
Zapp Brannigan: I doubt I've seen more than three or four captains sexier than you. | permalink
Bender: You humans think robots are only to make your lives better.
Fry: Well aren't they?
Bender: I've never made anyone's life easier and you know it! | permalink
Leela: Didn't you have ad's in the 20th century?
Fry: Well sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio. And in magazines. And movies. And at ball games and on buses and milk cartons and t-shirts and written on the sky. But not in dreams. No siree! | permalink
Leela: Uh, Professor, are we even allowed in the Forbidden Zone?
Prof. Farnsworth: Why, of course! It's just a name, like the Death Zone or the Zone of No Return. All the zones have names like that in the Galaxy of Terror. | permalink
Leela: Fry, what the hell were you people thinking back then? How could you just throw your garbage away?
Fry: Hey, hey, gimmie a break! What do you do with it?
Leela: We recycle everything. Robots are made from old beer cans.
Bender: Yeah! And this beer can is made outta old robots.
Leela: And that sandwich you're eating is made of old discarded sandwiches. Nothing just gets thrown away.
Fry: The future is disgusting! | permalink
Leela: Impressive. They're busting mad rhymes with an 80% success rate.
Bender: I believe that qualifies as ill. At least from a technical standpoint. | permalink
Leela: Oh, god... Not Zapp Brannigan.
Zoidberg: You know Zapp Brannigan?
Leela: Let's just say we crossed paths...
Bender: Was that before or after you slept with him? | permalink
Fry: Back in the 20th century we had no idea there was a university on Mars.
Farnsworth: Well, in those days, Mars was just a dreary uninhabitable wasteland. Much like Utah. But unlike Utah, it was eventually made livable. | permalink
Leela: Fry, you're wasting your life sitting in front of that TV. You need to get out and see the world.
Fry: But this is HDTV. It's got better resolution than the real world. | permalink
Leela: I've never seen anyone so addicted to Slurm.
Fry: This is nothing. Back in high school I used to drink a hundred cans of cola a week. Right up until my third heart attack. | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


Futurama Quotes

Farnsworth: (on the phone) Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? To shreds, you say. Very well then. (hangs up) Sad, sad, terrible, gruesome news about my colleague, Dr. Mobutu.
Leela: Was his apartment rent-controlled?

My job? Toilets 'n boilers, boilers 'n toilets, plus that one boilin' toilet. Fire me if'n you dare.