We reviewed the terrific Gossip Girl season premiere earlier this morning. Now it's time for one of our other favorite breakdowns of the CW series we know and love.

New York Magazine's reality index is great stuff. What was realistic about last night's episode and what was very far from it, in their mind? Here are some excerpts:

• Serena got into Columbia?? Nooo! No. No. No. No. No. Minus 15.
• Why would Dan believe it was his child, and how could he have just so easily transitioned into this life? Minus 10. And even if Georgina conducted a paternity test by herself ... why would Rufus and Lily believe the piece of paper she produced was real?
• Let’s examine this from Georgina’s end. So, she’s not after the signed birth certificate for the money, because she abandons the baby ... So then why have the baby at all? What does she get by leaving the baby with Dan? Minus 30.

• Of course Blair Waldorf reads Colette in the park. But Plus only 1 because no way would she eat so many macaroons.
• Nate is sleeping with someone that slept with Tiger Woods for a year? Is he nuts? Or, wait, never mind, he probably already has herpes. Plus 1. Meanwhile, Kate Cassidy is right. You don’t take girls like that to Norma's. Plus 1.
• It’s awesome that Eleanor passive-aggressively knew it would make her daughter explode to find out that Serena was going to Columbia. Plus 3.
• Blair's eruption at dinner over the sociocultural implications of menswear was truly a sight to behold. IPlus 1, for Leighton Meester's acting skills. It's hard to make a scenario that ridiculous so genuinely uncomfortable.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.