Bones Review: Death By Chocolate? Yowza!

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With Wayne Knight guest starring and a rotting carcass stuffed in the world's largest chocolate bar, you knew Bones would deliver an episode that's solid ... with a gooey center.

"The Babe in the Bar" (great title) began with a body find that was, as the producers teased, an all-timer, from the sound of saw on bone to the flesh-colored liquid spewing out.

This was so, so gross that it bordered on comedic, which is likely what they were going for, and conjured up memories of Peter Jackson's epically bad/awesome film Dead Alive.

Newman on Bones

Hello ... Newman Jimmy Walpert III!

While it's impossible to view Wayne Knight as anyone but Newman from Seinfeld, this worked out fine Thursday as his candy mogul character was more than a little Newman-esque.

If you gave Newman millions of dollars and made him the face of a chocolate company, you'd pretty much get Jimmy Walpert III, whose employee was discovered inside the "bar."

The case involved a fair amount of misdirection, as the dead babe made her share of enemies, from her ex-boyfriend to her sister, and from ex-boss to her current one, Walpert.

Thanks to the King of the Lab establishing that she'd been in Indonesia (via an insect lodged in an unhealed fracture), the team learned she was really working for someone else.

The deceased, Harriet, was a professional corporate spy.

A rival chocolate company attempting to buy out Walpert hired her to spy on Newman's operation, singling out weaknesses and trade secrets. This is, as Booth noted, highly illegal.

Harriet had bigger problems than corporate espionage charges, however. Her scheming ways pissed off the chocolatier (that's a real job) something awful and he decided to off her.

We realize the guy probably had no experience murdering people, and it would have been less entertaining if he'd whacked her elsewhere, but the evidence was not well hidden.

Booth Apprehends

Walpert didn't kill anyone, but his second-in-command did.

In any case, chalk up another win for the Jeffersonian, but on a personal note, Cam was fighting a battle it looks like she can't win, at least not if she wants to be the best mom.

Her daughter's first and only choice of college, the fictional Central Maine State, is not exactly renowned for its academics, just its ... Derek. Yeah, the follow-the-boyfriend bit.

Ironically turning to a child for advice on a child, Cam talked to Sweets, who told her to step aside, support Michelle and let this one play out. Sage advice from the youngster.

SIDE NOTE: After the gruesome way the episode began, Sweets was the only one who could still stomach chocolate, which was fitting. How can he not with that name?

Meanwhile, Angela and Hodgins host a night out for drinks to reveal their big news ... which everyone already knows. Only Hodgins doesn't know that they know. Oh boy.

This story line was a tad boring - we knew how it would play out by default - but it was still funny watching Brennan try to act surprised, and sweet to see Hodgins' reaction.

They're having a baby. That's all he really cares about, as he should, and it's hard not to get a little tear-eyed watching the undisputed Lab King get all emotional about it.

This episode was the second straight with no Hannah, although she did return at the end, prompting Booth to ditch Hodgins' announcement “for sex,” as Temperance noted.

Booth didn’t disagree and took Brennan up on her offer to cover for him. She's a good friend, but you know there's going to be some friction in this department before long.

Some final thoughts:

  • This episode bordered on Nigel-Murray overkill, but listening to him regale the team with how he won (and blew) a million dollars from Jeopardy was classic.
  • The chocolate industry can't be pleased with Bones. If the dead body wasn't enough to turn you off, Hodgins' factoids about hairs and insect larvae? Wow.
  • That hair net looked downright sexy on Booth. Okay, maybe not.
  • You actually can sponsor a water buffalo, as Sweets does, here!

What did you think of last night's Bones? Discuss!

The Babe In The Bar Review

Editor Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.8 / 5.0 (48 Votes)

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Bones Season 6 Episode 7 Quotes

Angela: Well, maybe you should talk to Sweets.
Cam: Sweets? Why would I do that?
Angela: He might be able to help you deal with Michelle.
Cam: I don't want to talk to a child about a child.

Nigel-Murray: Oh, you know, there are many fine universities in England, uh, Oxford and Cambridge, of course, but th-th-there's also...
Cam: You so much as mention leaving the country to my daughter, and I will choke you on your own trivia, and stuff your lifeless body in a locker.
Nigel-Murray: Then again, Georgetown's lovely.