Gossip Girl Reality Index: February 1

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Last night's Gossip Girl, "Damien Darko," featured a new story line involving Eric, Ben and Damien, as well as hilarious Dair antics, as our official review notes.

For further examination, we turn to one of favorite pieces of Gossip Girl media coverage, N.Y. Magazine's patented reality index. Behold, the weekly +/- scale:

  • Serena’s winter breakfast outfit looks like it’s a ski sweater, but is actually a semi-see-through lace top. A masterstroke! Plus 5.
  • Serena got Ben gardening tools? Oh, so patronizing. Plus only 1, because still, this demonstrates unlikely forethought from her.
  • Blair: “Oh look, there’s Georgina’s baby!” Plus 5, though that’s kind of nasty, given how broken up Dan was for that one episode.
  • Blair’s kindergarten yearbook quote is “The best defense is a good offense.” Plus 2 for the quote, and for having a quote at all.
  • Serena is thoroughly in love with a different person every week. Plus 1.
  • Yay for Rufus! Remembering that Juliet existed! Plus 3.
Bad News Damien
  • Serena to Damien: “When are you going to realize that your occupation hurts people?” What is it with Serena this episode? She forgets to blow out her hair one day and her cerebral neurons suddenly start firing again? Minus 3.
  • Blair: “My mother is a designer, she can’t call in favors at a fashion magazine.” HAAAA. Ha! HAHAHAHAHA. That had us going for a while. Minus 10.
  • The Captain says to Nate, “I’m actually good at what I do!” Minus 2 because actually, demonstrably, no you’re not.
  • Why is everyone hanging at a coffee shop all of a sudden? Minus 4.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


Gossip Girl Quotes

And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell ... You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl

[to Jenny] That's the thing. You need to be cool to be queen. Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart and she got her head chopped off. So her daughter Elizabeth made a vow never to marry a man. She married a country. Forget boys. Keep your eye on the prize, Jenny Humphrey. You can't make people love you, but you can make them fear you. For what it's worth, you're my Queen. I choose you.