Gossip Girl Reality Index: The Tuesday Tradition

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"The Princesses and the Frog" featured a regal courtship for Blair and some upsetting behavior by Serena and Chuck, as our official review discusses in detail.

For further examination, we turn to one of favorite pieces of Gossip Girl media coverage, N.Y. Magazine's patented reality index. Behold, the weekly +/- scale:

  • Blair has a crystal monogrammed rotary phone? Plus 2.
  • Dan to Charlie: “Enthusiasm is great.” For this line alone, we forgive her for the ultimate insane, dark turn she is about to make in his direction. Plus 2.
  • Nate to Chuck: “It’s four o’clock, it’s smoking-jacket hour. Why are you still in your robe?” Plus 2, because, aww, Nate and Chuck’s bromance is so close he's gotten to know Chuck’s couture o’clocks over the years.
  • Chuck looks terrible with facial hair. Plus 1, because that’s how we know he’s falling apart for REAL. Also the fact that the camera is shot from odd, tilted angles every time he’s on screen. It's like we're on a bender with him.
S Turning Her Back on B?
  • We're sorry to say that the main thing that struck us about Chuck's big domestic violence scene was that the apartment would honestly never have that wall made of glass cubes. Minus 3. So eighties.
  • The New York Post would never have that many words on the cover - nor would they move a prince and a socialite to only half the page to make room for an immigrant rally. It’s not the News. Minus 3.
  • Rufus’s new band is named “Panic”? No. This is a new indie band. It would be named something tragic like “I Can’t Go On, I’ll Go On.” Minus 4.
  • Even Blair would know better than to say “I can be the next Grace Kelly” to someone who is apparently Grace Kelly’s daughter. Minus 10.
  • Dan agrees to let Charlie cook for his dad's important meeting? No. Minus 5.
  • Incidentally, does anyone go to classes anymore? Minus 5.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Gossip Girl Quotes

And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell ... You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl

[to Jenny] That's the thing. You need to be cool to be queen. Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart and she got her head chopped off. So her daughter Elizabeth made a vow never to marry a man. She married a country. Forget boys. Keep your eye on the prize, Jenny Humphrey. You can't make people love you, but you can make them fear you. For what it's worth, you're my Queen. I choose you.

Blair