Survivor Review: It's a Whole New Game

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Survivor: One World is gone.

Well, Survivor: One World the show is obviously still on, but the concept of one world in the game of Survivor is over this week.  To the surprise of no one (after last week’s preview at least) the tribes dropped their buffs (Jeff’s second favorite line) and had a random draw for the new teams.  Now you could call the show Survivor: New Game.


With the way Survivor was set up this season and with the change happening so early in the season, it seems unlikely that any previous gender-based alliances will last. Sure, early alliances were formed, but they did not have the necessary time to marinate and become stronger. Early returns are already showing that previous allegiances are breaking down.

At the new Salani tribe the emotions of winning will surely forge new bonds. After winning the reward challenge, the seven new Salani members got to have a mini-feast of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and spend time with each other in a joyful setting. Soon Mike is searching for crabs with Chelsea (wow, double entendre alert there!) and the group works as a team to catch a rooster. Life is good.

Life gets even better for Kim when she takes the initiative no one else has somehow and finds the other hidden immunity idol. Before looking at the ramifications of such a find, let’s review the greatest quote to date in the season so far and possibly one of the top 10 Survivor quotes ever:

I just found the hidden immunity idol. It’s in my crotch.

Priceless. I did think to myself when she found it ‘where is she going to put it?’ and came up with the same answer; her crotch. She just didn’t seem like the kind of person who stuffed. Her bra or her jock, it would seem. Too bad CBS didn’t show it. I wonder if she looked like Lois Einhorn from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective?

Back to the ramifications of such a find. Yeah, we all know the obvious benefits by now, who cares. What does matter is that the find inadvertently pushed Kim and Chelsea even closer together when Kim chose to reveal the idol to Chelsea. The duo soon realized that they could be a power pair and strategized accordingly.

Finally! I’ve been pushing for these two (and many previous potential pairs) to realize the power of a tight pair. Not only might we finally see the first power duo since Rob and Ambuh, but they’re even a logical pairing. They’re both smart, cute, athletic and normal. Working together makes them the large favorite to win the game.

The negative side effects of the tribe switch is the now lowly Manono tribe. Through random draw they’ve been given a tribe that seems incapable of winning a challenge. They’re 0-for-2 so far and after voting Monica out, they’re unlikely to get any better. 

But the biggest problem is that Colton is once again in charge of his tribe. This means that 1) he won’t get voted out and 2) we have to hear him speak a lot more. Astoundingly people still listen to his BS. He convinced Alicia to vote against her better judgment and has Jonas offering to be his bitch. 

Admittedly, he wasn’t as painful as last week when he broke the Internet with how mean he was to Bill, but he’s still the same immature jerk that had many people swearing off Survivor.  Unfortunately we probably have not heard the last from him. 

Personally I’m disappointed that the single gender/same beach tribes aspect of Survivor is gone. I thought it was a fun experiment that would have been interesting to see played out like a regular game (think seasons 1 or 2). Would it have made any difference at the merge if the tribes stayed together for two or four more votes?

I do recognize that it easily could have been as boring as what seasons 1 and 2 now feel like looking back. However, it’s hard to know if voting would have continued along tribal lines in such a unique format without trying. I guess when millions of dollars are on the line, you don’t mess around. On the other hand, Survivor was picked up for two more seasons.

If Survivor tries the one world concept again I hope it does so with the tribes living in the same camp as well. The separate camps aspect did not help my goal of rampant intermingling during what is otherwise a separate game. Maybe it’s realistic when the tribes are so vital early in the game. Again, I’d like to see it tried.

More from this week:

  • The tribes switch and all of a sudden Colton does not like that he got his entire alliance on his tribe and misses Jay. My how things have changed. He’s such a fraud.
  • Loved seeing Jay just shove Colton to start the immunity challenge. Colton tries to make up for it in his next go by sprinting to the ball and then starts screaming like a girl.  Wait, does he consider that a compliment?
  • Nominal aphasia is a severe problem with recalling words or names. See you learn something new every time on Survivor!

A Bunch of Idiots Review

Editor Rating: 3.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.2 / 5.0 (26 Votes)
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Survivor Season 24 Episode 5 Quotes

We don't know what the heck these guys are thinking.


The guys are much more of a mess than we thought.