If you're lucky, or even unlucky, you're likely to attend a few parties in your life that you will never forget. For Hannah, Marnie, Jessa and Shoshanna that event in Bushwick was definitely one of those nights. Actually, depending on that crack Shoshanna smoked, she may not remember much at all.
"Welcome to the Bushwick a.k.a. the Crackcident" definitely brought the crazy on this week's Girls and, aside from the wildly entertaining antics, there was actually a lot to be learned. Mainly, we are a hugely self absorbed generation.
Let's just take a pause because Shosh got a storyline again! Not since that awkward week when she was orally pleasured by my childhood friend has Shosh been mildly relevant, but this week was her best performance by far. Sweetheart, how do you not know the difference between a joint and a crackpipe? Not that I've personally seen a crackpipe, but it's a friggin crackpipe! It's not a joint being passed outside of a bathroom. Our innocent little butterfly was in for one of the worst trips of her life.
Luckily for her, Jessa was there in her Black Swan getup to save the day. Well, not really since Jessa's flirty boss, Jeff, showed up with a bottle of Merlot to a party where he really should've brought Molly. I totally called the fact that he wanted to get with Jessa, as did many of you readers. I'm proud of Jessa for not giving in to his advances when they were at the hospital after the "crusty punks" knocked him out.
Who cares if he called her a tease? She realized she couldn't keep acting like that.
Jessa left her chemically altered cousin in good hands with obnoxious Ray, who may have uttered my favorite line of the night, "I'm not a f*cking JAP daycare, absolutely not." Maybe I found this so funny because I grew up in a world that is considered very jappy, but it was truly on point. However, this episode was full of gems, so for more lines go to the Girls quotes section.
Onto the main two ladies: Marnie and Hannah. Marnie showed up to this block party in a cocktail dress and beelined it over to say hi when she saw Charlie. I simply cannot believe how condescending she was to him when she uttered "All I ever wanted for you was to find satisfaction outside of our relationship." Well, sweetie he did, literally and figuratively in the form of a "tiny navajo." It doesn't feel too good to think you're the center of someone's world and then find out they don't really need you does it?
I love when the girl asked if she should know who Marnie was and if she was a Real Housewife. First of all, awesome. Second of all, if I was Charlie I would've been doing a happy dance. That is the kind of interaction everyone wants to have with an ex who screwed them over. After all, happiness is the best revenge!
Marnie is only a few years younger than me so she hasn't learned this really important life lesson yet, but when confronted with ex issues while out partying, just go home. Don't stay out and try and play therapist with whatever poor drunk soul will listen. Go home, put your phone on silent and go the hell to sleep. You will not feel better that night, in fact you will probably encounter someone like Elijah who will bitchslap your ego. Not gonna lie, she totally deserved it.
Elijah and Adam both had extremely valid points. It's always about Hannah and Marnie. Obviously if it weren't we wouldn't be watching the show, but in general they are both really self absorbed. Marnie is so upset that Charlie rebounded but she humiliated him and broke his heart. Hannah is upset she didn't know Adam was an alcoholic, but she never asked. She never asked Adam anything about him. Here we are thinking Adam is this d-bag, but really all we've heard is Hannah's side of the story. According to Adam, all Hannah is interested in is coming over, whining about her day and having sex. From what we've seen that's pretty true.
So now it looks like Hannah has awkwardly stumbled her way into a relationship with Adam. What do you all think about that? Do you find Marnie and Hannah to be as selfish as I do? Do you think Shoshanna and Ray might hook up after that non-sexual groin massage? Hit the comments and get ready for some Facebook stalking on next week's episode!