Alright, so maybe Valentine's Day alone isn't as bad as Valentine's Day in prison. Or maybe it's worse.
It kind of depends upon where you're standing.
On Orange is the New Black Season 2 Episode 6, various people tried for love, thought about love, found love and ended love. That's more than I do on the average VD holiday.
It was time for Poussey's back story and her refusal to bond with Vee continues to worry me. Vee is bad news and she's going to hurt someone, it's just a matter of who. Focusing on Poussey so soon after I decided she might be offed to teach the other girls to get in line is concerning.
What I do love is how many stories can throw me. I never took Poussey for an Army brat, and a multi-lingual one at that. As was witnessed when she almost pulled a gun on her lover's father, she does have a temper. She also came from a family who loved her very much, just as she was. Her father kept her from making a terrible mistake once. I wonder what kept him from doing it twice.
I'm disappointed in Taystee. Just after I called her very intelligent with a good head for business, she decides to fall back into step with Vee. Girl is crazy. The woman let her down again and again and now when the stakes are even higher -- getting caught in prison dealing contraband can't come as a freebie -- she walks right back into step with the psycho.
Piper and Larry missing each other was short lived. He asked her to be her mole, she balked and he kissed Polly when he went to her place to dump all of Piper's stuff to rid himself of her all around him. Ironically, Piper picked up the scent and decided to do her own investigation on the misappropriation of funds at Litch. That's bound to get her in trouble.
Getting caught by Healy helped us realize that he just wants the girls to like him again. I can't help but wonder if he changed when he married his nasty wife. Did working in a prison full of woman make him distrust the locals so much that he thought mail order was the way to go? Why is he married to the Russian?
He's as alone as Pennsatucky and the two shared a Valentine's cookie, which was kind of sweet. Valentine's Day can make you do crazy things.
Initially I thought Red was going to try to escape from prison using the grate in the greenhouse. Instead, her sons tunneled in and brought her contraband again so she can try buying friends with her makeup and goodies. But I wasn't far off with the escape.
Caputo's band is a "thing" now. He asked Fischer to join him, but when she did, she brought reinforcements. Why in the hell would she choose Luschek over Caputo? I guess there is no accounting for taste. It was brilliant, however, when Caputo looked up and saw the old dementia lady covered in dirt watching him play.
She must have escaped using the grate in the greenhouse while Bennett and Daya were getting it on. Seriously, Figueroa better be in prison by the time the series ends. Her theft of funds can be to blame for everything that goes wrong. The woman is a snake.
Red and Vee are battling it out for control of the prison. Red is not nearly as vicious as Vee, so I don't see how Red can come out on top. I still have that bad feeling that someone is going to pay with their life. But who?
- Suzanne is totally on board with Vee and she was her protector during "You Also Have A Pizza." She's going to go out punching for her hero.
- Did Morello just make a giant mistake letting Suzanne hug her? I think so.
- Did you notice how quickly Leanne pulled the power trick on her "democracy" after kicking out Pennsa-Hillary-Clinton-Tucky?
- Daya's "friends" are blackmailing Bennett to bring them stuff in his leg or they'll tattle -- an iPod shuffle, a camera phone and some other crap. So much for friendship.
- Was I alone in wondering what Alex wrote to Piper in her Valentine?! How could she throw that away? Damn.
- Daya got a Valentine, too. From Pornstache. Is he on his way back to Litch?
Which Litch man would YOU date?
Carissa Pavlica is the managing editor and a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.