Rule #1 of being a sociopathic serial killer wannabe: know human anatomy and/or develop a murder method by which your victim will actually die so that they aren't trying to have a conversation with you as you remove his/her limbs.
It's clear after watching American Horror Story Season 4 Episode 5 that Dandy Mott didn't read the rules since his rule #1 was "get rid of the body."
Shout outs to both Matt Bomer and the American Horror Story bathtub. I'm not sure I'll ever look at a claw foot tub with quite the same amount of nostalgic lust again.
I'm not sure why I'm telling you this, but I feel like you should know that I started watching American Horror Story Season 1 on Netflix this morning at the gym. While it's an odd series to watch on the treadmill, it's definitely one which kept me there for the entire 50 minutes.
Why does this seem remotely relevant? Because Ryan Murphy revealed that the seasons of AHS are connected and that there are threads and hints in all of them.
When I saw the bathtub Dandy Mott dissolved Matt Bomer's (beautiful) body in, I recognized it as THE bathtub and thought that was pretty neat.
Tonight Dandy Mott claimed his second victim, Andy, a gay male prostitute, played by the incredibly talented Matt Bomer. When his mother refused to let him become an actor, even after she helped him bury Dora's body underneath a specially created flower bed, he decided he would be the best and most super-anti-hero-like murderer who ever murdered.
At least until Gabourey Sidibe's character, Regina, shows up in Jupiter, FL to find out what happened to her mother. Death is coming for Dandy Mott, either in the manner of a secretarial student or an angry strongman.
Andy, unbeknownst to anyone, has been Dell's...partner? purchase? confidante? and given how Dell reacted to the doctor, he will either kill Dandy or be killed by Dandy. I'm not sure which I want at this point.
Remember that scene when Dell couldn't perform for Desiree? Now we know why. He's just not that into you, girl! And Desiree is all girl, contrary to what she's believed her entire life.
After she began bleeding while fooling around with Jimmy, her step-son, Ethel took Desiree to the doctor. He informed her that her extra breast was just an "accessory breast" brought on by too much estrogen. The same for her "extra business" downstairs. It turns out she doesn't have a penis at all. And she had a miscarriage.
Learning that she was able to have children changed something for Desiree. Knowing that she was whole instead of splitting the difference between the male and female worlds altered her view of herself for the better. Ethel eventually revealed that Dell's father had the same lobster hands Jimmy has leading Desiree to figure out that Dell is Jimmy's father. That wasn't a secret which would remain such for long anyway, so it's probably better that people know.
What was great about this episode were the little pieces of information revealed about so many of the characters.
Desiree has always struggled with her identity. Jimmy really just wants to love and be loved. Maggie has a soft spot for Jimmy, but not that soft (yet).
And Elsa so desperately craves the spotlight she will deliver her freaks into the arms of Satan himself if that means she gets the acclaim.
When Stanley began showing the Tattler twins more attention than he showed Elsa, Elsa grew jealous and decided that if Bette Tattler wouldn't stab her sister, she would get rid of them another way.
So she took them to Dandy Mott. There's nothing like his mother saying "hey, you killed two people and that's terrible, but here are these conjoined twins! HAVE FUN!"
But hey, if Dandy doesn't do it, Stanley's sure going to try. And with that I've found another hint.
This series has a thing for cupcakes.
What did you think of American Horror Story Season 4 Episode 5? Will you ever be able to look at a pink cupcake again? Who will be the one to take down Dandy: Regina or Dell?
If you want to relive some of your favorite moments, you can watch American Horror Story online right here at TV Fanatic.
Miranda Wicker is a Staff Writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.