Well, bugger. It looks like Victor is winning again.
As The Young and the Restless started this week, Adam was ready to plead guilty. Chelsea even went to Dylan, who desperately wanted to help. Finally.
But it was too little, too late. Chloe had done her damage, Victor was doing whatever he could to get out of that hellhole and that was that.
Chelsea was all over the map. She tried to get help from Dylan, but that was useless.
Nikki was in the room with Victor and refused to leave, so all Dylan got was lies in response to his round of questioning.
This was directly after Nikki has spent an inordinate amount of time lovingly caressing Victor's face like he was a baby bird who would simply crush under the weight of a normal touch.
Seriously, I was going to have to climb into the television and start bitch slapping her if she did it any longer. Has somebody been forcing her to drink drugged tea or something? Her about face about Victor is frightening.
All of the Newmans have lost their minds. Thankfully, for the first time Dylan didn't blindly follow along with his distorted mother, getting a bit snarky with the old man.
It's really too bad Chloe didn't get to use her scalpel. A scalpel which should have cut directly through the pocket of her pants, if we're being honest. There's no way it would sit blade down in a pocket while she walked around. Those things are sharp!
Especially after I discovered that Adam's plea bargain didn't include, you know, a bargain.
Exactly what was his plea? "Oh, hey, I'll plead guilty in return for..." What? The lawyers got to put their pens and pencils down, close their notebooks and go home? Because I missed the bargain. In fact, I've never heard of a plea bargain wherein the accused pleads and THEN the judge sentences.
Surprise! Pull your bargain out of this big bin here. Uh oh! You lose! You got the 30-year card. Hahahaha. If you had pulled the six month card, you would have been our lucky Plea Bargain Winner of the Month!
Utterly ridiculous. I suppose this is happening because they went to all the trouble to build the prison set, and now they're committed to having friggin' prisoners from now until eternity.
Well, they built a prison doctor's office, too, but Sophia Coppola is no longer with the cast. Which really annoys me. What an absolute waste of a great actress. What was her point? Meredith doesn't even get to flaunt her affair with Victor now that Nikki is acting like he's the second coming of male perfection?
Meanwhile, Natalie and Kevin were trying to solve the wigstery (the wig mystery), but then in the middle of it decided to take a romantic vacation? What did I miss there? At first I thought they were going to go follow a lead.
Was the romantic getaway a cover to throw Mariah off or was it for real? I'm sorry, I've tried to enjoy Natalie, but I have no feels for her whatsoever. She's simply one of the most annoying and pointless characters on screen.
Next to Luca. Summer fell down the rabbit hole again telling Luca he's the best thing that happened to her and Newman. I'm so confused by Summer. I honestly cannot tell if she's seriously in love with the dude or playing a game.
Do you think she even knows? By the end of the week, I was certain she was being honest with him and had lost her marbles. That is disturbing on many levels.
I simply cannot handle female characters who collapse and lose their strength when a man says I love you. Now it seems Summer is a chip off the old Nikki block.
Because, really, do we know if Victor is being real with Nikki? Doing anything to get out of that hell hole indicates to me he's playing Nikki. I don't think he's forgiven her anymore than she thinks he's going to forgive the rest of the family.
If I'm right, will that be enough to knock some sense into Summer's head about men in general? Luca is full of lies, and we have yet to discover exactly who he is.
The garbage about keeping her from her birthright, though, was really slaying me. What is this, Game of Thrones? "Newman is your birthright." Um, dude. It's a corporation in the United States of America. Summer has about 13 brothers and sisters who all lay claim to the only office in the joint. Calm the hell down!
And speaking of birthrights and bizarre families, Cane and Jill wrestling Brash and Sassy out of Billy's arms to teach him some sort of lesson is just sick. Mom loves me better than YOU (or something) Cane threw across the room during their heated argument.
After I'm done painting your ugly old house and ugly yellow that I picked out that I don't even like, I'm going to go stand by mommy and remember how much she sides with me over you.
Good golly. These are grown men. Jill is a grown woman. Doesn't she want to just live her life already? Why is she clutching onto a house that was a part of her past and trying to control the lives of two men who should know how to survive without her meddling?
I never thought I'd say this, but I hope Colin comes back soon. Please, oh, please let him want to get to some drinking and thieving so he can pull her into another line of thought.
Jack's whining is also starting to grate. Yes, Phyllis is a handful, and she's cheating on him. But why is he showing any sympathy toward Victor?
Telling Phyllis justice comes in many forms and Victor's family turning against him was far worse than being in prison is not going to appease her. Ever. Phyllis just wants him to pick a side already. What happened to her and Jack against the world? Against Victor?
When she lashed out at the Newman gathering before court, reminding them of how long she slept with a stranger, a criminal in her bed, it kind of made me sick.
Nick whined that Victor had been shot and stabbed since he'd been in prison. He was sentenced to prison, not the death penalty. As if it's the Newmans against Phyllis, and somehow Phyllis is the bad guy.
They pretend that they get what she's feeling, but she's right. They never will. Not until Victor does it to each of them.
Then again, he's kind of tearing them down, putting them through the ringer right now. They just don't know it. He's cheated on Nikki, the things he did to Adam are deplorable and what he did with Luca regarding the oil business probably haven't even come to light yet.
They'll get him out of prison and slowly realize prison is the only place for such an ugly man.
Then Victor topped off the week by walking into the courtroom attempting to placate a clearly unhappy Chelsea by saying things about Adam, as if he was not the reason he's in prison.
What did you think about what went down this week? Am I being too harsh on Victor? On Nikki? How many times will she take him back, will the family forgive him, before they realize how despicable he really is? Share your thoughts in the comments!!
Carissa Pavlica is the managing editor and a staff writer and critic for TV Fanatic. She's a member of the Critic's Choice Association, enjoys mentoring writers, cats, and passionately discussing the nuances of television and film. Follow her on Twitter and email her here at TV Fanatic.