The Last Man on Earth Season 3 Episode 3 Review: You're All Going to Diet

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On The Last Man on Earth Season 3 Episode 3, everyone is worried about Pat's whereabouts, the idea of leaving Malibu is revisited and security is amped up at the mansion.

Tandy wants to stay in Malibu and this time Lewis agrees with him. I was as surprised as Tandy. Just last week Lewis was screaming at him, now all of a sudden he and Tandy are on the same page? Suspicions arising.

Hide and Go Seek - The Last Man on Earth Season 3 Episode 3

Tandy decides to take matters into his own hands and create a makeshift security system by attaching Big Mouth Billy Bass's to the mansions walls. If someone walks by the fish start singing.

Carol demonstrates and is of course impressed and delighted. These two are definitely becoming more like each other, I just wish Tandy was becoming more like Carol and not the other way around.

Carol's attempt to spruce up the mansion was hilarious. She changed the bullet holes into daisies and added words to the messages on the walls to make them less threatening. For example "You're all going to die" became "You're all going to diet" which is a healthy idea and also the name of this episode.

Tandy's speech is actually useful -- he thinks they should learn self-defense. Lewis agrees, and although it IS a good idea, it just makes me more suspicious. That doesn't mean he should get tased though, which of course he does, despite Tandy's multiple promises not to.

Tandy and Carol have another heart to heart during which Tandy expresses his concerns and insecurity and Carol listens before supporting him. These two may be annoying to the others but they're basically crushing it in the relationship department.

This sweet moment is followed by Billy singing in the distance. Of course we all knew it wouldn't be Pat. The question was really just which one of the survivors would be walking down the hall and possibly be shot by trigger-happy Melissa. It was Erica and fortunately she wasn't shot.

Erica mentions she had morning sickness which results in Carol immediately getting morning sickness. I'm not a doctor but I don't think morning sickness works like that. If I had to guess, I'd say Carol is jealous of all the pregnancy attention Erica gets.

The group thinks the mansion needs more security which is ironic considering their post-apocalyptic circumstances. Carol suggests they all wear tap shoes and bells and carry whistles. I love her but this is a little ridiculous even for me.

I'm not going to wear those freaking things and you can all suck it.

Gail Klosterman

Tandy sets up tasing stations while Melissa sets up axing stations. The nonchalant way she demonstrated how to use the station was hilarious. And of course, don't forget to wipe off the blood before you hack the ax back into the wall.

Later, Tandy invites Lewis to the beach to ask him to be his friend. Melissa unintentionally interrupts them. Turns out she set up land mines on the beach and one explodes just as Lewis agrees to Tandy's friendship.

Everyone is upset Melissa set up the land mines without telling them. She swears she put up signs but oh wait, the post it is still in her pocket. The way she vaguely describes where they were all placed was great. January Jones is really coming into her gun-crazy, paranoid, slightly pschotic character.

Tandy's summary of their location was just as funny.

Bunch, bunch, few, loaded. Got it.

Tandy Miller

Lewis again wonders why they're still there. The beach is full of land mines, there's a mad man after them, the house is a disaster and they could literally go anywhere! Finally, this last point is what I've been thinking for weeks. Malibu was fun but let's switch it up. Everyone agrees and says goodbye to their Malibu mansion.

So what did everyone think of this episode? I'm excited to see where they end up next. Does anyone have any guesses on where that might be?

Also, was I the only who heard the land mines going off as they drove away? Were those set off by the earlier vibrations or was there really someone on the beach?

If you missed this episode or would just like to binge watch old ones, you can watch The Last Man on Earth online via TVFanatic.

You're All Going to Diet Review

Editor Rating: 4.3 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.3 / 5.0 (7 Votes)

Tiffany Staton is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.

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The Last Man on Earth Season 3 Episode 3 Quotes

I'm not going to wear those freaking things and you can all suck it.

Gail Klosterman

Bunch, bunch, few, loaded. Got it.

Tandy Miller