iZombie Season 3 Episode 5 Review: Spanking the Zombie

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Well, I don't know about you, but when I heard that we'd have an hour of Liv on dominatrix brain, I did not anticipate it also being an hour that ended with me hugging onto a pillow and feeling all the feels.

That's exactly what iZombie Season 3 Episode 5 was -- a complete emotional rollercoaster until the final scene faded to black. 

Gah! I hate feeling feelings and "Spanking the Zombie" gave us so many.

The Dominatrix - iZombie

Is there a clause in Robert Buckley's contract that says he has to play the one character who is always on the brink of death? It seems like it. How many times can we see our beloved Major lying on his death bed? 

I am not okay. Unfortunately, neither was Major for the majority of the hour. It hurt my heart watching his health deteriorate right before our eyes. We've seen it a handful of times before, seriously, Major catches major hell on this show. He's too pure for this. Leave him alone!

We knew that there would be a time when that inhaler of his would no longer do the trick. It barely seemed to be working when he was heading into the rescue mission. I'm surprised that his zombie brothers in arms didn't comment on it more.

Major

How does that work? Wouldn't it be strange to see a zombie with an inhaler? Technically he's undead, so it's not like he would have severe asthma or something. Do pre-existing conditions carry over somehow? Why didn't this raise the alarm among the others?

Major and the zombie army were finally putting their training to use for a rescue mission. They saved a family, including kids, but Major got stabbed a few dozen times in the process, and they even lost a soldier.

Justin: You okay, man?
Major: Yeah, just a flesh wound. Thirty-five flesh wounds.

The wound wasn't healing properly, and it didn't help with the whole dying thing, so his collapsing onto the floor was inevitable. Thank God Justin was there to whisk him away to the morgue. 

I know we were supposed to be caught up in the moment watching Major dying before our eyes (again), and I was, but what happened to Justin after Major stabilized? Ravi and Liv went back and forth with one another talking about the serum and the cure.

Majorly Ill

They even let it slip that Major could/would be turning human again. Was anything else explained to Justin before he left, because this could be a problem? I was already speculating that if Vivian was the antagonist, she would come after Ravi.

In her mind, Ravi is a scientist who poses a threat because he's working on an antidote to cure and/or fix zombieism, and as someone who is pro-zombie and wary of humans, Vivian would see Ravi as an enemy. 

Justin: Major!
Major [coughing]: Take me to the police morgue.

Justin now knows about the cure. Will he somehow share what he's found out with Vivian? What could that mean for Ravi? Vivian knowing about the cure is dangerous because she's still not trustworthy. 

Also, what would this mean for Major's place in the army? He couldn't remain if he's an amnesiac human. It's unfortunate that Major was just getting to a point where he was accepting being a zombie and finding solace in it after being shunned from the human world. Now, he'll be human again and potentially an amnesiac. 

I hope the others watch out for him more because the Chaos Killer title still looms over him and he won't even know what that's about. 

I have so many Major and Liv feels right now, it's hard for me to even process them. They're such a great couple, mainly because even when they're in this limbo, indefinable place relationship wise, the love is still there. I don't even recall, were they at an on or off point of their relationship?

Major: I need you to do something for me.
Liv: Name it.
Major: Once I'm new me, keep reminding me what we meant to each other, and give me a new name, one that's less silly.

The show hasn't touched on it in a while, but while Major was lying there saying his "goodbye" to Liv, it was so evident that they genuinely love each other. Did you get teary-eyed during that scene? It was difficult not to.

I loved hearing about the first time they met and Major teasing her about their first kiss. They have such a long history, and while we as an audience aren't privy to all of it, we can still sense just how deep their relationship is. Rose McIver and Robert Buckley totally sold me on their epic love story. 

I'm not typically a sap, but I found myself hugging a pillow while watching them exchange such warm sentiments, and when Major said that line about getting to fall for her all over again I swooned. 

Major: There's one silver-lining to forgetting everything.
Liv: What?
Major: You'll knock me off of my feet all over again.

Major earned that last night of sexytimes with his one true love. He also got to lose his memory in the best possible environment. He was at home, with the love of his life on one side and his BFF on the other. 

Honestly, the Ravi and Major moments were a total feels fest, too. Poor Ravi had to be kicked out of the room because he didn't want to leave Major's side. If we lose the best bromance on the show, I'm going to be heartbroken. Unless we get to see it unfold all over again.

Zonked out zombie

I do wonder, however, if Major will lose his memories. We still don't know for certain the state that Blaine was in when he took the serum. That makes a huge difference. If he weren't amnesiac when he took it then there would have been nothing to regain. 

Blaine was the worst test subject to have. Do you think there is still a possibility that Major's memory will stay intact? He's technically the real test subject. 

Domanatrix Liv

OK, on to the lighter aspects of the hour. Liv on dominatrix brain was fantastic. She had nearly every guy she encountered eating out of the palm of her hand. 

Clive's level of chill regarding all this zombie business continues to be a highlight. Is it just me or did he seem to be a bit too eager to have Liv consume weeks old brain? She was so turned off by the idea, for one because it was a dominatrix, and also because of that blue brain issue, but Clive and Ravi teamed up against her.

Clive: We need visions, Liv.
Ravi: I'll get the frying pan.

It turns out Roxanne was very naughty. She had quite the client list (including Veronica Mars Alum returning as Johny the weatherman and Stone the lawyer), and she recorded their sessions. She even had the zombie running for Mayor on her list. 

Based off of Liv's super long and vivid visions intensified by Ravi's blue juice, she figured out that Roxanne's killer was most likely one of her clients. Am I thinking too hard, or will that blue juice play a role in something down the road? It was the first time Liv had such intense visions without even being prompted. It was also the first time we got to see Liv's vision sequence from the outside.

One of the best scenes of the night, was when she ran off the client list to Johnny, the sketch artist. Actually, all of her scenes with Jimmy the sketch artist were pretty hilarious. He was definitely into Dominatrix Liv. Can you blame him? 

Liv: When I want your advice I'll beat it out of you. Now, be a good little sketch bitch and pick up that pad.
Jimmy: Excuse me?
Liv: Oh, I think you heard me, Jimmy. I think you hear me loud and clear. Pick up the pad.

Liv found out from Johnny and Stone (who actually represented Johnny) that someone was using Roxanne's videos to blackmail her clients. After playing bad cop and interviewing her blackmailer, he confessed to killing Roxanne.

That case was closed, but the case with Wally is still open. Cavanaugh was pretty pissed that Clive and Liv interviewed Harley Johns first. Unfortunately for him, he spilled some information while chewing them out and it was enough to tip Liv off. 

Zombie Army

In a move that I didn't expect to see so soon, Liv enlisted the help of Vivian and her employees to interview Harley and bug his car. Harley won't let up on the zombie apocalypse theory. 

Are you as shocked as I am that Vivian let him leave Fillmore Graves alive? After all of his ranting with such conviction, and talk of killing zombies on sight, I just knew she's have him carted away or executed. Who knows? Maybe she still will.

Don't you get it?! It's coming. The zombie virus is going to get out and it's going to spread. It'll be us versus them. We tried to warn people but they called us lunatics.

Harley

Harley is a problem, and he will continue to be one until he is dealt with. I agree with Fortesan, our beret wearing zombie friend. Dude needs to be taken care of in a "swimming with the fishes" kind of way. 

Find someone who looks at you the way that Tanner looks at Don E. Is The Scratching Post just going to be a cool hangout or is there something more to it? It looked pretty rad. I'd hang out there if I weren't concerned about being someone's food. 

Were you grateful that we took a break from the love triangle? Did the Major and Liv scene make you cry? Will Major keep his memories? How dangerous is Harley? Let us know in the comments below.

You can watch iZombie online right here via TV Fanatic!

Spanking the Zombie Review

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Rating: 4.3 / 5.0 (15 Votes)

Jasmine Blu is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.

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iZombie Season 3 Episode 5 Quotes

Clive: We need visions, Liv.
Ravi: I'll get the frying pan.

Justin: You okay, man?
Major: Yeah, just a flesh wound. Thirty-five flesh wounds.