The Bachelorette Season 13 Episode 5 Review: 1305
Sarah Hearon
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Cue Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood" (and the snake emoji) because we've got a serious feud on our hands. And on our TVs.
The Bachelorette Season 13 Episode 5 was all about Lee and Kenny, and the episode wasted no time getting back into their argument after the Spelling Bee date.
Kenny confronts Lee about his conversation with Rachel and the fact that he called him "aggressive," which Lee sees nothing wrong with and stands by.
I know you're a snake now. Before I thought you were my friend.
Kenny
It's clear that Lee is trying to get a rise out of Kenny, but he is doing his best to stay calm. If I was Lee I wouldn't mess with a professional wrestler, but hey, I also wouldn't post a series of racist things on Twitter either.
Rachel, on the other hand, is too busy making out with Bryan to care. (A common theme during this season).
I just think we're a perfect match.
Bryan
Bryan also gets the group date rose. Sorry Josiah, I guess winning a Spelling Bee isn't as impressive as you thought.
Kenny congratulates Bryan for "doing things the right way" and not being a "snake."
I'm definitely Team Kenny, but bringing up Lee's parents in his confessional was a little far. Lee is clearly the worst, and Kenny should just let him self implode.
In case you didn't hear it the first 297538 times, Kenny thinks Lee is a little bitch. (And so does everyone else).
The episode jumps right to a one-on-one date with Jack Stone. The only thing worse than not having a rose ceremony at the end of every episode is not having a rose ceremony at the end OR at the beginning of every episode.
Get it together, ABC.
I still feel like there's something missing with Jack because we should get along, we should be perfect together
Rachel
The chemistry between Jack and Rachel just isn't there, but Jack didn't get that memo. Or practice his dance moves before leaving for the show.
He kisses her, and says "it's been a long time since a first kiss has felt like that." But according to Rachel's face, she doesn't feel the same.
The good news is Jack will probably get to experience another first kiss real soon!
Despite Jack telling Rachel that he could see himself falling in love with her, she sends him to the friendzone (and back to Dallas).
Back at the hotel, Will tries to help Lee understand why using the term "aggressive" could trigger Kenny and come off as racially charged.
Lee doesn't seem to understand what Will means, and I can't wait for Rachel to explain it to him.
Rachel decides to cancel the cocktail party and go right to the rose ceremony (if you can call 37 minutes into the episode going "right to the rose ceremony").
I feel like she hasn't seen the full Adam yet. She's gotten a snack, but I want to give her the full kitchen.
Adam
It's the end of the rose road for Jonathan and Iggy. It's truly surprising that the Tickle Monster made it FIVE episodes, and less surprising that he used getting sent home as another opportunity to tickle Rachel.
Meanwhile, Iggy cried and mumbled something about self-discovery. I'm sure he learned a lot and will continue to express his feelings on Instagram through protein shake ads.
Rachel tells her boyfriends that they're off to Norway, which prompts me to tell my friends that I'm hoping for a Frozen themed date.
Rachel gives the first one-on-one date to Bryan and with the exception of Dean (who is wrong), all of the men point out how much Rachel clearly likes Bryan.
They cannot keep their hands off of each other... even when they're 187 feet in the air. (Turn off the T. Swift and cue up Selena Gomez's "Hands To Myself.")
I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that whenever someone on this franchise thinks someone else is "too good to be true," they usually end up being the worst after the show wraps. (Josh Murray, anyone? Not to mention he was constantly making out with Andi AND Amanda just like Bryan is with Rachel.)
I also can't help but be suspicious of Bryan because he's 37 and mentioned his last relationship ended because he wasn't ready to "man up."
All of that being said, I'd bet anything that Bryan has a date with Neil Lane in his future.
Based on date opportunities and roses, I think dating brothers might not be her choice.
Eric
Rachel manages to stop making out with Bryan long enough for a group date. The men learn how to play European handball, and Rachel joins them for an official game.
I'm not sure if the male rompers are as official, but the men don't seem to mind.
The red team wins, but I'm too distracted by Adam Jr. in the audience to care. Adam must be going through serious separation anxiety.
It's nice to see Kenny FaceTime with his daughter back at the hotel, but also kind of sad. He deserves more than being forced to go on a two-on-one date with Lee.
Rachel's eve and I'm Adam, and there's a slippery little snake in the garden.
Kenny
At least he got a date card from Rachel AND Chris Harrison.
The group date continues with a cocktail party, and all of the men try to win her over. Will and Peter are definitely the most successful.
Josiah, on the other hand, comes off as phony. It's disappointing because he had such a sad back story and seemed like a solid choice for Rachel in the beginning.
Will gets the group date rose, which discourages Peter, but I don't think he has anything to worry about.
My current guess for Top 4 is Bryan, Peter, Will and Dean.
It's time to blast "Bad Blood" again as Lee and Kenny take off in a helicopter with Rachel for their two-on-one.
Rachel seems to enjoy her time with Kenny, but Lee is not ready to go home without a fight.
He immediately starts talking badly about Kenny when he gets Rachel alone. Lee tells a story about Kenny violently pulling him out of the van and unless I somehow missed that episode, Lee is lying.
Kenny is not happy when Rachel tells him the story, and heads back to Lee looking for revenge.
He will get washed under in a tide of Kenny realness.
Kenny
The episode ends on a cliffhanger (shocker!). My guess is Rachel will either send Lee or both of them home, but regardless, no two-on-one date will ever live up to Ashley I and Kelsey both getting ditched in the Badlands.
Never forget.
Don't forget you watch The Bachelorette online via TV Fanatic.
Sarah Hearon is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.
