Principal W. Seymour Skinner is the principal of Springfield elementary on The Simpsons.  Seymour was actually born Armin Tamazarian but swapped places with his seargeant when he returned from Vietnam war.  Now he lives with his mother and has an on and off again relationship with Edna Krabappel.  His greatest nemesis is either Bart or Superintendent Chalmers, you decide.

Principal Skinner Quotes

Ralph: What's a battle?
Principal Skinner: Hahahaha, lets go.
Superintendent Chalmers: Did that boy say what's a battle?
Principal Skinner: No he said What's that rattle, it's about the heating duct.
Superintendent Chalmers: Hmm, it sounded like battle.
Principal Skinner: I've had a cold, so--
Superintendent Chalmers: Oh so you hear r's as b's?

Bart Simpson, that is a rebuilt Yugoslavian engine and there's not even a Yugoslavia anymore. Bring it back at once.

Skinner

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.

Grampa