A picture of Selma Bouvier, one half of Marge's older, chain-smoking twin sisters.  Selma has had a bit of a disastrous love life having married and divorced Sideshow Bob, Lionel Hutz, Troy McClure, Disco Stu and Abraham Simpson.  Selma, like her sister, works at the DMV and is a generally unexciting human being. 

Selma Bouvier Quotes

(At Marge's birthday party, Patty and Selma comment on Homer.)
Patty: Look at him wolf down that gristle.
Selma: Mm-hmm. It's an accident waiting to happen.
Patty: Do you know the Heimlich maneuver?
Selma: No.
Patty: Good.

Patty: It's almost nine o'clock.
Selma: Where is Homer anyway?
Patty: It's so typical of the big doofus to spoil it all.
Lisa: What Aunt Patty?
Patty: Oh, nothing, dear. I'm just trashing your father.

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Bones heal, chicks dig scars, and the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world.

Lance Murdoch