Sterling Malory Archer, code name Duchess, is the world's most dangerous secret agent and son of the head of ISIS, Malory Archer.  Although Sterling definitely has competent spy skills, most missions are solved either by his colleagues or dumb luck.  The man constantly has a drink in hand, has no problem mooching off his mother, is an ass, and yet somehow is kind of the most awesome man on the planet.  He doesn't have many friends, sleeps with mostly whores and used to date fellow ISIS agent Lana Kane.

Sterling Archer Quotes

Calzado: Crocodiles on a three wheeler?
Archer: Right, how scary would that be?

Cyril, shut your pout-hole, accept the fact that Lana was so far out of your league, that impregnating her would have basically been interspecies breeding, and get on with your life!

Archer
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Archer Quotes

KGB (Crenshaw): This may be old cliche, but... we have ways of making you talk.
Archer: What, your little go-kart battery?
KGB (Crenshaw): Golf cart.
Archer: Whatever. Would you pick an accent and stick with it?

It's like my brain's a tree and you're those little cookie elves.

Archer