When I was a student, we lived under constant threat. People like Nate [Archibald] were scared straight. It was this thing that started freshman year, called itself Gossip Girl. Kind of like an Orwellian Big Sister that kept tabs on the students it deemed important. If she knew your secrets, and she always did, she told them. She kept us all accountable. People thought it was me, but it was actually one of my classmates, Dan Humphrey. It was ridiculous. I wouldn’t even read it.