Audrey: Well, it says here that they're going to that charity event at the Guggenheim that Grace's mom is in town for.
Max: Yeah, so?
Audrey: So maybe we're thinking too small. I mean, why be a local sensation when you can be a global one?

Zoya: You didn't answer my call. Nick: Excuse me? I was... I was in court.
Zoya: Not according to your office. They said you took the morning off. So is honesty really the best policy?

Obie: So, when does Tiff get in?
Grace: This morning. She's taking the train down from Exeter, so I guess, like, 10:00? She's literally the coolest friend I have. I can't wait for you to meet her. Julien: Great! You're here.
Obie: Yeah, and I'm in the middle of a conversation with my girlfriend.
Julien: That's who I was talking to. Hot chai with vanilla sweet cream foam? Grace: My favorite order. How'd you know?
Julien: You mentioned it was your go-to afternoon pick-me-up over New Year's Eve, and I'm a good listener.
Obie: Yeah, because you and Monet were trying to sabotage her.

Good evening, followers. For those who might have been living under a rock, maybe you haven't heard. There's a new Queen of Constance.

Julien: Do you think I'm doing the wrong thing, giving it up to God or whatever people who believe in that stuff say?
Audrey: The only reason that New Year's even exists besides that pagan thing that no one talks about is for the world to give us permission to try something new. So, like, on any given Monday, you can say you're going vegan, but in January everyone believes you. I mean, look at me. Two weeks ago, if I said I was in a queer relationship, everyone would probably accuse me of trying to center myself. But in January, I'm speaking factually!
Julien: How is that going?
Audrey: Oh, my God. It's like a constant endorphin rush. Nothing can put me in a bad mood. [Zoya walks in the shot.] Even that.

Nick: Have to say... I'm pretty impressed you've been staying off social media. Julien: Yeah, I hardly even miss it.

Zoya: Me first!
Julien: Wait!
Zoya: I need to shower.
Julien: So do I.
Zoya: I thought you already did. I heard the water.
Julien: I ran it for steam. It's part one of my three-part skincare routine. Used to be ten, but new research shows that all you need is a cleanser, moisturizer, and a sunblock...
Zoya: I'm not following.
Julien: A bunch of dermatologists...
Zoya: No, I mean, I don't care. And I need to get in there. Some of us have hair. Why don't you go put together an outfit in your closet... What, you know, used to be my bedroom. And by the time you're done, maybe I can see myself in the full-size mirror again.
Julien: If my stuff is an imposition, I'll just... I'll...
Nick: Everything okay here? You're sharing well with your sister, Z?

Happy New Year, followers. Been a minute, and I know you've missed me. Because it must have been pretty dark and lonely out there without me around. Lucky for you, I'm the light at the end of your tunnel. Here to illuminate what you've been up to while you thought no one was watching. And to those of you who may doubt the credibility of what I might say, remember, I can only be as honest as you are. But admit it, it's the fiction that keeps the facts interesting, anyway. There's nothing left for me to laugh about So try to ignore me if you dare. Pretty soon... I'll have everyone talking. And you'll be back here to make sure they're not talking about you.

You're so righteous.


We should never have done that.


Man: Who are you?
Julien: I'm Julien fucking Calloway.

Kate: Oh, and um, here is my invoice. I also take cash app or Venmo, if that's easier.
Camille: Why is there a cab receipt here?
Kate: You specifically told me not to take the subway or rideshare.
Camille: Are you seriously trying to nickel and dime me right now?
Kate: The cost of the cab is like an hour of my time.
Camille: I don't see how it's my problem you don't listen. Implicit to running errands for someone is doing what they ask you to do.
Kate: And part of running errands for people is that I was denied my end of year bonus because the board, made up entirely of parents, including you, decided that money would be better served going to a new gym, so here I am, returning thirty-thousand dollar earrings for you, and you seriously want to argue about a 15 dollar cab?
Camille: You think you deserved a bonus this year? You all complained about teaching during COVID, so the school didn't re-open. Do you know how hard it was on us working parents?
Kate: We didn't want to risk our lives.
Camille: Then, you all allowed Gossip Girl to taunt and torment them upon their return. Not only did you do nothing about it, but some of you even sent in tips yourself. Tips on kids you were in charge of. If I could fire each and every one of you, I would.
Kate: So you being cheap was punitive?
Camille: That's the thing with you people. You think you're entitled to something you didn't earn.
Kate: Who people?
Camille: Middle-class white girls who don't stand out, so they claim some kind of victimhood, push others to spread the wealth they themselves can't earn. I pay forty percent in taxes so you don't have to. I trickle down so that you can teach in a safe environment eating cafeteria food cooked by Michelin chefs, all while teaching the future lawmakers of America. You're glorified babysitters whose names will be hard to recollect in five years, whereas the names of the kids you teach will never be forgotten. It is a privilege to work at Constance, and the board felt you all needed to be reminded of that.
Kate: Thank you, Mrs. De Haan for reminding me why I do what I do.

Gossip Girl (2021) Quotes

I just got fucking fired.


When I was a student, we lived under constant threat. People like Nate [Archibald] were scared straight. It was this thing that started freshman year, called itself Gossip Girl. Kind of like an Orwellian Big Sister that kept tabs on the students it deemed important. If she knew your secrets, and she always did, she told them. She kept us all accountable. People thought it was me, but it was actually one of my classmates, Dan Humphrey. It was ridiculous. I wouldn’t even read it.