Popular Quotes
Elizabeth, I will come for you
Red
Ross: (About Rachel's book) I, I don't know, it's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it but she's, she's pretty upset about it.
Joey: See, this is why I don't date women who read.
This tribal council will go down as one of the craziest in the history of the game.
Jeff
Tom: Mark's not even in the department.
Mark: Neither is Ann.
Tom: But Ann's hot. And that counts for something.
They hit you with a bottle you hit back with a nuclear missile.
Frank
Airport Clerk: Aw, that was great.
Quagmire: Thanks. I know you have a choice in airport sex and I appreciate you choosing Quagmire. Please exercise caution when standing up as the contents of your panties may have shifted during coitus. Oh right! I got a plane to catch. Say, which gate is Flight 209?
Airport Clerk: 209? That flight left half and hour ago.
Quagmire: Oh my God! Oh my God! That plane's going down! My friends are on that plane! They're all going to die!
Airport Clerk: What? Oh no!
Quagmire: And that's not the worst part. Here's the condom I said I put on.
Airport Clerk: (gasp)
Quagmire: Hahaha, aren't I just the worst?
Lynette: Now listen to me, you are going to behave. I will not be humiliated in front of the entire neighborhood. And just so you know that I'm serious, I am. (She pulls out paper)
Porter: What's that?
Lynette: Santa's cell phone number!
Preston: How'd you get that?
Lynette: I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf. And if any of you acts up, so help me I will call Santa and tell him you want socks for Christmas! All right, are you willing to risk that!?
Wolowitz: Sheldon. You remember the first few weeks; we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything, and you were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator?
Raj: I thought we were going to be gentle with him.
Wolowitz: That's why I added the "tator"
If Samson is building an army, then I'm going to need mine.
Oliver
Rox to Ethan]: You don't have to pound the kimchi like you're doing compressions.
Alice: I know it may sound stupid, but that's what I'm mad at you for...not the cheating part. The part where what you did made me lose you. You're a big part of my life, Quentin.
Quentin: You could never lose me, Alice. I mean you could avoid me and you can hate me.
Alice: I don't hate you.
Quentin: Well you can't lose me. Sorry.
I thought you secretly hated me. I thought I was a disappointment. but now I-I realize that I-I wasn't. You were.
Sammy