Director Mace: In case you haven't noticed, Phil, we're not a team that trusts. We're not a team at all.
Coulson: You may be right. But we better become one if we're going to stop Eli Morrow from blowing up half of Los Angeles.

Coulson: When this is over, it's time. We're cracking that bottle.
May: You won't have to twist my arm.
Coulson: I wouldn't dare. You'd whip my ass.

I ran an illegal spy agency using powered operatives on American soil. Do you think the President loves that about me?

Coulson [to Fitz]

Got any hell-demon tricks up your sleeve?

Coulson [to Robbie]

The skull on fire presents a pretty compelling argument for "Hail Satan."

Coulson [on Ghost Rider]

Geese? I have zero geese. We are goose-free.

Coulson [to Director Mace]

Coulson: You had a near death experience.
May: It was a death experience. And I'm over it.
Coulson Well, I'm not over mine.

It's powerful, it's deadly, and now probably in the hands of a pissed off, mad scientist ghost.

In my experience, gods tend to be aliens.

Most people know the legend of Peggy Carter but there were so many stories that were never recorded.

Coulson [to the tour group]

Coulson: But I had a whole speech ready.
Jeffrey: I'm sure it's good. You can use it next time.

We'll discuss the consequences of your little science fair later.