Andy Dwyer Quotes
Andy [about Mark]: I don't get it. What does he have that I don't have?
Ann: Are you serious?
Andy: Yeah.
Ann: Everything. He has literally everything you don't have. A job, a car, a steady income, an address, a second pair of shoes, table manners, the ability to say tampon without giggling.
Ann: We should have checked before to see if you were... home.
Andy: Oh no, I told you. I moved out of the pit. I decided to go back because I forgot my headphones. And I laid down on this really comfy tarp, I saw this old cereal box I hadn't read before so I must have drifted off.
Andy: I thought I'd give back to those less fortunate than myself.
Ann: You live in a pit.
The key to volunteering? A lot of pockets. For putting all the food in. The Red Cross has amazing cookies. I go there all the time. Meals on Wheels was a bonanza. Suicide Hotline? Surprisingly lame spread.
Is Mark the guy who's fixing your shower? Because I don't know about you, Mark, but I've seen a lot of porn, and I know what "fixing your shower" means.
They're probably making out, over a dead deer. Super romantic.
The band has had a few different names over the years. When we started we were Teddy Bear Suicide. But then we changed it to Mouse Rat. Then we were God Hates Figs; Department of Homeland Obscurity; Flames for Flames; Muscle Confusion; Nothing Rhymes With Orange; then Everything Rhymes With Orange; Punch Face Champions; Rad Wagon; Puppy Pendulum; Possum Pendulum; Penis Pendulum; Handrail Suicide; Angel Snack; Just the Tip; Threeskin; Jet Black Pope; we went back to Mouse Rat and now we are Scarecrow Boat. God when I hear myself say "Scarecrow Boat" out loud I kind of hate it.
