Shauna: OK, well, since we're, you know romantically involved, I won't print any of it
Anne: That's great, thank you so much
Mark: Well, you know I wouldn't say romantically involved... going forward
Anne: (rolling her eyes) Oh my god!

Ann: Once again, they are my biological children.
April: And once again, I don't believe you.

The Gang: Surprise!
Leslie: Oh wow!
Ben: That's what you wanted right? Everyone in the same room, at the same time?
Leslie: I can't believe you. We're all together in the same room. This room. I don't think I could be any happier!
Ben: Wanna bet?
Ann: Hi!
Leslie: Oh Ann's here! Ann's here!

Okay, but we should talk soon because I almost bought a toe ring the other day.

I told him One Headlight by the Wallflowers isn’t dancing material and he told me, “Not with that attitude!”

Right now my gut is telling me we're going to listen to Mariah Carey the whole way home.

Tom: What brand is it?
Ann: It's called "Womb, There It Is!"

When you're not around, Tom drinks tap water.

Ann: I keep getting outbid by someone called Tall Tyrion Lannister. What kind of name is that?
Donna: Are you kidding me? Tyrion Lannister? Lord of Casterly Rock? The Half Man? You don't watch Game of Thrones?
Ann: No, do you?
Donna: Hell, yeah! Have you seen those Dothraki dudes? They can get it! Everyone on that show can get it!

Ann: How many drinks of alcohol do you consume a week?
Ron: One.
Ann: That's it? One drink?
Ron: One shelf.
Ann: Do you exercise?
Ron: Yes. Lovemaking and woodworking.
Ann: Do you have any history of mental illness in your family?
Ron: I have an uncle who does yoga.

For date of birth, you wrote 'spring time.'

Ann: Before I write that letter, you have to spend the week doing everything I say.
April: So what, I have to be your slave or something?
Ann: No, you have to be my friend.
April: Ugh, that's so much worse.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Leslie: I know you're not gay.
Tom: No, I'm not.
Leslie: But you're effeminate.
Tom: What?
Leslie: Well, you're wearing a peach shirt with a coiled snake on it.
Tom: That's because it was featured in Details magazine, and it's awesome.

Look, Tammy and I don't work. We are oil and water. Or oil and TNT and C4 and a detonator and a butane torch.

Ron