Ari Gold Quotes
I'm not scared. I'm scared for the town. Because once I go out, women will fall and men will start wailing.
Ari: You're the good kind of addict. You're the I-got-messed-up-with-the-wrong-girl-and-ended-up-on-a-blow-bender addict. But Ertz is the Skeevy-old-man-who-got-caught with-a-crack-pipe-and-the-17-year-old-from-Speed-Racer addict.
Vince: Michael Vick drowned puppies and they let him play again.
Ari: Ertz doesn't have Vick's arm strength.
Ari: Bobby? Flay? You're... dating a cook?
Mrs. Ari: He's a chef, Ari. And he's a businessman. And he's kind, and respectful and generous.
Ari: He's a red-headed fire crotch. He's a genetic mistake!
Lloyd: I just wish you two were together. Because you're like the perfect couple. Like Lady Di and Charles.
Ari: Lady Di and Charles got divorced and then she died. Now shut the f*ck up.
Vince: So, what's up with you guys, huh?
Ari: What are you talking about? Nothing's up with these guys. They've been frozen like Ted Williams waiting for the return of their life, and now that it has returned let's get back to it.
Lloyd: Ari, you haven't had any time for anything since...
Ari: Since what?
Lloyd: Since the s-e-p-a-r-a-t-i-o-n.
Jonah: I can spell separation, you know.
Ari: Get out. And don't ever spell in front of my son again. He's s-m-a-r-t-e-r than you.
I'm here, I'm present, I'm suffering. No phone, Blackberries or carrier pigeons.
Jonah, next time - boy's night out. These girls are annoying.
Richard Branson: I'm in family mode too, so...
Ari: Yes. Well played sir. I love your family.
Mrs. Gold: ARI!
Ari: Honey, he has twins. How rare is that?
Ari: I don't want to speak to her.
Jake: Should I tell her that?
Ari: Tell her I want her to die!
You're sorry? You're sorry for what? You're sorry for leaking slanderous out of context nonsense about me huh? And then rifling through all my hard work to steal my football team? Fuck you, ok? Fuck you. And now hold on a second. I'd never hit a woman in my entire life but I swear to God in my mind right now I am pummeling your smug face to a pulp for everything you did to me, my career and my family. But not to worry all right. Because I will prevail, because I'm a winner and you're a whore with more cleavage than talent. And I will not stop untill I destroy you.
Therepist: I'm sorry, we'll have to stop soon. Ari, can you respond to this request?
Ari: No, who could.. and fuck you with your fucking clock!