He's the dumbest person on the planet, and that's coming from me.
Tina: Last week we were too sexy, this week we're too religious -- we can't win.
Brittany: Now I know how Miley feels like.
I made him a card that said 'heart attacks are just from loving too much.'
Is God an evil dwarf?
I did a book report on heart attacks if you wanna give it to the doctor. It got knocked down a whole grade because I did it in crayon.
Whenever I pray, I fall asleep.
Carl: I'm gonna put you under a little general anesthesia. You won't feel a thing.
Brittany: Like roofies?
Carl: Yea, totally.
I would just like to say that from now on I demand to have every solo in glee club. When I had my teeth cleaned I had the most amazing Britney Spears fantasy. I sang and dance better than her. Now I realize what a powerful woman that I am.
I'm more talented than all of you. I see that clearly now.
Please don't pull out all my teeth. I'll look like an adult baby, but with boobs.
This room looks like that room on that spaceship when I got probed.
I don't brush my teeth. I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist.