You're missing out on life, Mitchell. Take off your shackles and show people who you really are.

It was a pretty simple case because as I said, everyone has something to hide. Everyone. ... Everyone.

Did you get a peck from a pickled Pepper?

Guys, if we don't figure out a way get out of here soon, we're never gonna make it to the escape room.


Tarnation! Here comes your kin! Git! Git!

Mitch: It is a lot less money though.
Cam: Well, you know, we don't have to decide today.

You'll get a donut when I get answers, you piece of trash.

Lilly: Are you gonna be this cool when I like a boy?
Mitch: No
Cam: No, not a chance.

Oops, I dropped the, uh, I wanna say egg chute, but I know it's probably something more Latin-y.

The molten chocolate cake looks slutty and delicious. Would it kill you to say that about me?

Let's face it, like Drew Barrymore, I am an adorable fire starter.

Cam: The doctor says absolutely no sun while I'm on these antibiotics.
Mitchell: What would happen? Because if it's anything short of death, I think you should risk it.

Modern Family Quotes

But I'm nice and I put on the sugar jacket!


Gloria: I'm taking a shower, would you like to join me?
Jay: Honey, you know there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage, if I ever say no, I want you to use it on me